Einsamkeit
Sunday, June 29, 2008
  Amusement from 2 polarities.
Amusement #1 from the positive polarity:

I burrowed a book written by Czechoslovakian author called Milan Kundera, called Immortality, since I saw my sister had read stuff of his and I trust her taste in expanding my circle of reading. I did not regret it and the very first chapter of it got me hooked already. It reminded me acutely of Chuck Palahniuk's postmodernist style. Without me rambling, here's a paragraph that made me laughed.

"As a little girl, Agnes used to go for walks with her father and once she asked him whether he believed in God. Father answered: "I believe in the Creator's computer." This answer was so peculiar that the child remembered it. The word computer was peculiar, and so was the word Creator, for Father would never say God but always Creator as if he wanted to limit God's significance to his engineering activity. The Creator's computer: but how could a person communicate with a computer? So she asked her father whether he ever prayed. He said: "That would be like praying to Edison when a lightbulb burns out."

HAHAHA! Brilliant writing. I have found a new favorite writer. ^_^

Amusement # 2 from the negative polarity:

Now I have to use a complete different mindset to approach this second section of the entry. *gets serious*

Okay, so I was on my usual Saturday night stroll with a good friend along Esplanade Park/Merlion region/Esplanade Bays, with a light conversation going on about (my poor) musical ability. I was craving for my weekly fix of Starbucks frapp, so we were walking down towards the outlet underneath the bridge near the Merlion structure. Intrigued why is there such a huge crowd at that area there (it's usually empty there), we walked on, then saw a group of policemen there with some equipments on the floor. I initially thought it might be some silly metalhead/punk fight or something juvenile, since it was the common meeting ground for them. Then I saw a gang of civil defense officers pulling something out of the river via a thick cord. I know what happened.

Someone drowned.

I got my frapp (it was a Grande! ^_^) despite the commotion and found myself trapped by the (efficiently-placed) "Police" boundary tape, sat down and watched on to the corpse-fishing commotion. Knowing inside me that that poor fellow had little chance of coming out alive, I recited some mantras (Om Mani Padme Hum, if you are wondering) for him/her and hoped it will help the situation for the soul somehow.

After a few minutes, the body is out and placed on the orange canvas stretcher thingy and the paramedics did something to the body which I am unsure of. I could clearly see the midsection of the corpse. He wasn't wearing a shirt and only donned a sports shorts. Pale in complexion and clearly not breathing, the whole atmosphere of the place dimmed down, with typical Singaporeans looking on with intrigue yet a sense of fear on their equally typical faces. LOL. My friend, being the curious one, went to the other side of the area condoned off, he later reported that the corpse was foaming at the mouth. I am to fully confirm that that body is a corpse now.

I finished my frapp and the commotion was cleared, with a puddle of river water on the pavement - a dark reminiscent of the watery grave that the victim ended his last minutes writhing in a plea for a quicker end to his life or questioning why his life had to end so abruptly, at such a dodgy location? I have no answers for that question.

It created a very macabre afterthought in me that reminded me after I left the area. Prior to reaching to the Starbucks outlet, I heard the sirens of an ambulance and I told my friend, "Oh! Someone's dying!", in a joking manner. It was a thing/one-liner I ganked from Kevin, anyway. Now I think back and say, "Damn, that's eerie." *shivers*
 
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
  Photoshoot
Yesterday, I went out with Ren Hui to the National Stadium to have a little card-flourishing photoshoot endeavour. To walk around the grand stand and chill around is really a pleasant thing to do, if you have some spare time to spare. Haha! The place is so quiet that you can hear the fallen leaves rustle away on the worn concrete ground and seats. It is amazingly well-kept though, considering the government is intending to demolish it soon. Which points me to the usual annoyance at them because it is seriously a waste to remove such a historically important infrastructure and plus, I wonder will they have enough time to build the new one in time for the 2010 Youth Olympic Games. Haha, quite screwed, yes. Then again, *shrugs*, not my problemo. ^_^

Enough of talking crap, I show you the better-taken photographs now. =)
Oh my god, I love Ren Hui's camera (Nikon D300) and her photographing skillz. Everything looks so crisp and rich even without editting. Now I know the difference of a good camera that cost you thousands and a normal digital camera that is being thrown to you at every lucky draw. Haha!
 
Friday, June 20, 2008
  Melancholy
I attended one of my cousin's wedding dinner last night, it was a nice event and some decent hotel food. As much as I was reveling in the food and social conversations (not really reveling in this case) that night, I was also getting slightly depressed with each passing minute. Why?

I have been partner-less... for years and years.

Not to make myself sound like a love-deprived person, I will not go into a series of "why?"s and whines. My parents always said it is not wrong not to have a partner and have a subsequent marriage. I don't know about that, all I know is being such a typical Capricorn that I am, waiting is my virtue. And, I am willing to wait for the arrival of a regal, fully qualified contender. =) Just be optimistic that such a soul-mate confidante and emotional doppelganger exist within your vicinity. *Ling waits, like she has waited before*

On a lighter note, yesterday also marked the 1 year anniversary of a card flourishing video that I was part of - Nights Out. Time flies... I swear it only feels like a recent endeavor of mine.


I wonder til what age would I be doing card flourishing.... I sure can't fathom myself doing it in my 30s. =/ Lol.
 
Monday, June 16, 2008
  Return
After around three to six months of hiatus of meditation after my GCE A Levels, I decided I should try doing it again last night due to some unknown spurt of energy in me. And, it turned out a great session! Well, I did it with my earpieces attached, listening to some good old Kitaro, which was my staple meditation music all these while. After I settled myself and my mind down to a decent level, I did the death contemplation meditation exercise since I felt I wanted to experience a state of shunyata once again. All went smooth, when I reached the visualisation stage where there is no more flesh on the body, I could really feel as though I am just a pack of skeleton resting there. You can imagine the sensation where I progressed into the final stages of visualisation where the skeleton is cremated and dispersed into air. Haha!

It was after the second exercise where I visualised the Tibetan Buddhism Refuge Tree that I experienced a much familiar sense of bliss. I was just sitting there, with my mind supple and refreshed, as though I just treated it to a grey-matter-feast, if I can put it that way. LOL. My body doesn't ache one bit, even my troublesome knees and ankles (I did it full lotus, baby! :P) aren't posing any slight hint of discomfort even after in that position for over 40 minutes. My heart was smiling, and my psyche in its peak condition. Even after getting out of that sitting position, my mind still tells me to remain in a relaxed, alert condition, as I rested my back upon my bed headboard and basked in utter tranquility for a few more minutes. Falling into my slumber laterwards was a great closer for that evening.

I guess I am falling in love with samadhi once again!

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Sunday, June 15, 2008
  And, the religion quiz...
Took this at the same site, once again, pretty much accurate. =)

1. Theravada Buddhism (100%)
See selected books about Theravada Buddhism. Click here for info
2. Unitarian Universalism (99%)
See selected books about Unitarian Universalism. Click here for info
3. Hinduism (92%)
See selected books about Hinduism. Click here for info
4. Mahayana Buddhism (89%)
See selected books about Mahayana Buddhism. Click here for info
5. Liberal Quakers (78%)
See selected books about Liberal Quakers. Click here for info
6. Taoism (73%)
See selected books about Taoism. Click here for info
7. Jainism (72%)
See selected books about Jainism. Click here for info
8. Neo-Pagan (63%)
See selected books about Neo-Pagan. Click here for info
9. Mainline - Liberal Christian Protestants (60%)
See selected books about Mainline - Liberal Christian Protestants. Click here for info
10. Secular Humanism (54%)
See selected books about Secular Humanism. Click here for info
11. Non-theist (51%)
See selected books about Non-theist. Click here for info
12. Sikhism (51%)
See selected books about Sikhism. Click here for info
13. New Age (41%)
See selected books about New Age. Click here for info
14. Orthodox Quaker (41%)
See selected books about Orthodox Quaker. Click here for info
15. Seventh Day Adventist (39%)
See selected books about Seventh Day Adventist. Click here for info
16. Reform Judaism (38%)
See selected books about Reform Judaism. Click here for info
17. Scientology (37%)
See selected books about Scientology. Click here for info
18. New Thought (34%)
See selected books about New Thought. Click here for info
19. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (28%)
See selected books about Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist). Click here for info
20. Orthodox Judaism (27%)
See selected books about Orthodox Judaism. Click here for info
21. Bahai (23%)
See selected books about Bahai. Click here for info
22. Mainline - Conservative Christian Protestant (20%)
See selected books about Mainline - Conservative Christian Protestant. Click here for info
23. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (16%)
See selected books about Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons). Click here for info
24. Eastern Orthodox (13%)
See selected books about Eastern Orthodox. Click here for info
25. Islam (13%)
See selected books about Islam. Click here for info
26. Roman Catholic (13%)
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27. Jehovah's Witness (6%)
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  Damn straight, Nietzsche!
Took a philosophy quiz @ http://selectsmart.com/PHILOSOPHY/, here's my results.

Nietzsche (100%) Information link
Jean-Paul Sartre (97%) Information link
David Hume (71%) Information link
Spinoza (70%) Information link
Stoics (65%) Information link
Thomas Hobbes (56%) Information link
Kant (54%) Information link
Aquinas (47%) Information link
St. Augustine (46%) Information link
Plato (43%) Information link
Jeremy Bentham (42%) Information link
Cynics (40%) Information link
Nel Noddings (39%) Information link
Ayn Rand (35%) Information link
Epicureans (31%) Information link
Aristotle (30%) Information link
Prescriptivism (28%) Information link
John Stuart Mill (26%) Information link
Ockham (26%) Information link

Then, me and Nick fooled with the possibility of me being Nietzsche's reincarnate. And I will probably die insane. HAHA.

That quiz is pretty accurate, unlike most other online crap you see. =) Try it!
 
Saturday, June 14, 2008
  News from Count Dani. =)
Apart from the fact that my nasal faculties are giving me troubles since last night, I am quite comforted by the fact that Dani Filth revealed that the new Cradle of Filth album would be a concept album - based on the occult debaucheries of the 15th century French noble, Gille de Rais, who presented children as sacrament to his imaginary deity called "Barron". Such a detail would elevate me to much liking and fevour towards the new album already. It sounds so very delicious. And, to appease the Filthian creature within me even further, Paul Allender said that the new album would sound like a mix between Midian (my favourite record of theirs thus far) and Dusk and Her Embrace.

Such news just made up to my lonesome Saturday evening spent in a drowsy stupor due to the influence of synthetic cough-suppressing chemicals in my system. If The Filthians could achieve what was done in Midian, I would fall utterly in unconditional love towards the band once again. I sorely hope they will not disappoint. Just come up with another "Queen of Winter, Throned"-esque epic opus, Dani. And, those Filth legions will flood back into your scantum once more, to the point of it being pleasantly unbearable. HAHA. I am on a writing roll, aren't I? ^_^
Furthermore, Dani once again reassured the hordes that their semi-autobiography/full-fledged occult-and-everything-twisted history book - Gospel of Filth, is in its finishing stages, like what he said back in 2005. HAHA. He said that they are trying to set it for a Halloween 2008 release, alongside with the abovementioned upcoming album. *looks forward*

One more Filth-related thing to ramble on, I am still waiting for them to get their royal British arses to the bloodied and haunted shores of Singapore... Like what I am for many other bands, like Sweden's Pain and Germany's Rammstein. Such a long fruitless vigil it is, for a single ardent foolish (?) fan to devote time and effort... However, for the joy and auditory pleasures they unceasingly bestowed upon me and many fortunate others, I am willing to partake in this solitary obsession wholesomely.

It is really amazing to see how much a band could influence your life. Cradle of Filth changes the way how I look at music and lyrics. The entire Milton-styled, mythology-tinted poetic coherency of the lyrics simply took every ounce of air out of my lungs. It is actually very possible to cry at the end of a song when you really focus on the music and follow the lyrics together. It's just so massively epic. Dani Filth has a Masters degree (two of those, actually) in English literature for a reason, my fiends. Music becomes an experience rather than sensory entertainment, in this context. One other great thing I adore about such elaborate lyric-writing is that they could serve as an educational resource too, I learnt much vocabulary from them and slices of mythology, too. What. A. Wondrous. Thing.

On a sidenote, hell shit, I realise I write better under a stupor! Haha.

On another sidenote, I still find it hard to believe that my secondary 2 history teacher, Mr. Neo introduced me to Pain whose songs deal with drugs, alcohol, death, rejection and basically everthing negative. Mr. Neo must have alot of faith in me in my evaluating abilities and that I am not the usual emo/goth/pseudo-metal drifter you see on the streets on the weekends. Haha.

Oh, the stupor is acting up again and I am finding myself to fall back into yet another round of mental reverie... Later.

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Friday, June 13, 2008
 
OnePlusYou Quizzes and Widgets

Created by OnePlusYou

I am disappointed. PG 13 only?!

I know my volatile mind could easily qualify for a "Restricted", just come in and take a look. I invite you. ^^
 
Monday, June 09, 2008
  =)
It's the end of the first half of the school term, and it's holidays again now. I woke up feeling great after a very satisfying 9-10 hours of sleep, had my Ceylon tea and flipped to Channel 5 to my favourite daytime show - The Ellen DeGeneres show. Yay! So long since I am able to watch that, ever since I started my tutelage at a polytechnic. It's a gentle contented feeling, haha!

Then I went out for a solo movie outing at Cathay's Picturehouse, to watch Paul Verhoeven's BlackBook. It's quite awhile since I went for a movie at the theaters, with me being excessively picky in watching films in cinemas. Erm, let me recall when was the last time I watched in a theater, hmm it's either There Will Be Blood or Persepolis in February, heh. BlackBook is a pretty decent film, it follows a typical Nazi Germany Jew-dissents' Resistance plot basically. With my prior viewings of films like Sophie Scholl, this film was rather predictable, but still, it does stand out from the normal blockbuster Hollywood stuff, with a good story development and all. =)

I am still waiting for Forgetting Sarah Marshall to open here, bloody hell, why must they have to wait for months for it to reach here? I have been waiting to see Russell Brand on the big screen so badly... Gah. And, to add on to the annoyance, the DVD rental shop downstairs couldn't be any slower, both the DVDs for No Country For Old Men and There Will Be Blood have been released, and both aren't brought in to that shop yet. >_>

Anyway, anyhow, it feels great to resume my slacking schedule like the one after my As, although I need to study for the Radiation Physics ICA. And, most of all, no shitty Life Sciences lectures in a cramped LT (I spent most of the time there thinking other stuff anyway) and night Physics lectures from Soma!

Going swimming with my brother tomorrow morning! And, a movie outing with Kevin too! Sounds great! =D

On a an unrelated note, it seems that fooble doesn't like me. It obliterated my chatterbox. Need to revive it... soon. *procrastinate* In the meantime, you can leave a word at the comments box below each blog entry. =) Otherwise, this place is going to look so barren and desolate.

I have been thinking quite abit recently, due to reading a book on the summaries of the classic philosophy works. The concept of morality interests me suddenly. I was never too concerned about that previously. I read that Immanuel Kant proposed the idea that an action would be deemed as moral if the intention behind the action is a positive one, regardless of the consequences it will incur. On the other hand, John Stuart Mill said it's the consequences that dictate the morality of that action. I got to say my stance leans towards Kant's on this issue. It surprised me by the fact that I used to be rather close-minded (yes, I am confessing my foible) in slamming Kant down by the fact that he's Right Winged, he does have some good points essentially. Maybe just not provoking enough. Lol. Either way, I still dislike his a priori argument, anytime, anywhere. =D Nobody in the right frame of mind will accept any a priori deduction.

I am also getting interested in The World as Will by Arthur Schopenhauer, partially because his thoughts are inspired by Eastern philosophy especially Buddhism, I am really curious to see how a Western in the 1700s/1800s would view and interpret Buddhism. Heh.

Enough ramblings.
 
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
  Childhood memories

I recalled this as my favourite song in my childhood. The whimsical nature of it and the entire coherency and dialogue-like of the lyrics and rhymne amazed me totally.

And, I think this is the reason why I have a liking for crooked individuals. Haha!

 
Sunday, June 01, 2008
  The Kransky Sisters
Just got back from Esplanade, watched a comedy/music show performed The Kransky Sisters called Heard It On The Wireless.

"We are the Kransky Sisters, from Esk Queensland, Australia. That is Eve, on the left, and Mourne in the centre and the half sister - Dawn in the background."

Just look at how awesome they look. With generous amount of droll/deadpan humour, absolutely bizzare country tales to share, even weirder rendition of songs performed using a saw with a voilin's bow, old casio keyboard, toilet cleaner, spoons, pots, toy recorder. It's a sweet combination of strangness and delight. I especially liked it when Mourne and Eve insulted Dawn repeatedly for many insignificant domestic transgressions she committed - like making crop circles in the garden using a rolling pin when asked to mow the lawn, and Dawn merely looked ahead, and kept silent with a weird grimace in her face. Haha! One especially memorable tale goes by when Eve told Mourne that their neighbour was looking for their lost pet pig and asked Mourne had seen it while she was out in the garden. Mourne said no, she hasn't. Then Eve aptly reminded her that she was pouring cement to make a road with their neighbour's pig was around. Then, Mourne merely responded by her signature grimaced face. It's just so macabre, that it's bizzarely entertaining and appealling.

Oh, Mourne said in the end of the show that Singapore is such a nice place and has such nice food that you eat with those knitting needles. HAHA. She also commented that she liked the carrot cake with no carrot in it. Haha!

The Kransky Sisters performing Psycho Killer:

And Sweet Dreams:


It's such a rare occasion here to see comedy groups coming here to perform, I grabbed this chance to witness it live, and sure enough, I have no regrets!

If you have a chance to catch them live, go grab it! =D You will be immensely entertained.

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The human destiny is forever limited by the idiocy of bureaucracy and the excesses of social expectations. - LingNemesis, 2007 C.E.

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Location: Singapore

Metal-Listener. Card Flourisher. Aspiring Philosopher. Selective Mugger. Ubermensch-to-be. Inspired by Dharma. Nihilist. The Almost Misanthrope. Yogini. Film Enthusiast. Into everything Occult and the Esotercism. Anti-Pretentious Social Situations. Anti-Religion. Anti-Normal. Observer of This Fucked-Up World. Autodidact. Philomath. Capricorn Cusp Aquarius. Leo Ascendent. Taurus Moon Sign. Economic Left/Right: -1.88 Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -2.05.

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