Einsamkeit
Sunday, May 24, 2009
  Sundays...
For the past consecutive Sundays, I have started to notice a thing that has been contributing to my temperament that in turn contributed to my increasing neglect of this cyber repository.

You see, the fact that I reside in such a densely populated place like Singapore where it's impossible not to have people talking to you, demanding things from you, requesting you to do things even for the span of a few hours, makes living a chore for a person like me. I used to treat Sundays as my sanctuary, the full 24 hours entirely to myself. To heal. To re-charge. To regain equilibrium. To find inspiration. To find peace. This is getting increasingly impossible now, I have no idea why... I simply loathe the feeling of a half-rested mood on Sundays nowadays, where my mind and emotional state are troubled and bothered by the incoherent noises of the people around me, by the swarms of people that has been so terrifying swelling up here in Singapore in the recent years. I feel like a half-charged battery on the recent Sundays, sluggish, highly volatile, unfulfilled. In a nutshell, not ready to expend my energies once more on the upcoming Monday. Also, in a nutshell, do not disturb my Sundays. Thank you.

Somehow, I dislike my introversion tendency for this reason, although I take a hell lot more pride in my persona. I realised it takes alot of time alone for me to feel well-equipped again, which led me to dwell on the fact that I would most likely feel like a cadaver by the time I actually start to work full-time/leaving very minimal time to onself for the exchange for a terrible invention called money. I wonder how fellow introverts survive in the working world... Unnerved, I am, very. I actually burrowed a book from the library called "Party of One: The Loner's Manifesto" some days ago, because I need reassurance that what I am feeling is normal and I'm not going insane. Sigh...

On brighter topics, I have acquired a new CD, entitled Drudkh's Blood in our Wells (Кров у Наших Криницях). One of the more worthy purchases of mine in the recent months. When I heard it online, I was immediately blown away with immense surprise as my ears have grown so disenchanted with the lacklustre tunes of many bands out there and my heart grown cold with the lack of a new flame. But Drudkh. This Ukrainian band impressed me so much on the debut listen that I immediately texted my favourite Metal CD store and placed an order for this album. Listening to it makes me feel like a young (not that I am old, just a comparsion of era, lol) passionate, hungry listener sitting entrapped in the glorious cacophonies once again, like a walk in a new forest that will surprise you with beautiful sights at every turn and crevice, or like trying a new food, which you grew to love so quickly.

It's simply amazing.

I also acquired the ticket to a local Metal music concert in which more than 5 bands would perform in, including of Rudra, a band which I adore with great intensity ever since I witnessed them desecrate the Esplanade outdoor stage some 3 years back. I couldn't wait to witness their desecration once more. The thought of listening to "The Pathless Path to the Unknowable Knowable" live brings me both adrenaline and edorphines. Also performing is the first (and I hope not the last!) black metal-orientated band perform at Baybeats - Meza Virs. I have witnessed their performances at the Baybeats Auditions and I know they are toning it down at the Auditions. Therefore, I believe they will make a much bigger and forceful impact at this particular concert.

Let's not talk about a dreadful topic like my current block of hospital attachment, shall we? =)
 
The human destiny is forever limited by the idiocy of bureaucracy and the excesses of social expectations. - LingNemesis, 2007 C.E.

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Metal-Listener. Card Flourisher. Aspiring Philosopher. Selective Mugger. Ubermensch-to-be. Inspired by Dharma. Nihilist. The Almost Misanthrope. Yogini. Film Enthusiast. Into everything Occult and the Esotercism. Anti-Pretentious Social Situations. Anti-Religion. Anti-Normal. Observer of This Fucked-Up World. Autodidact. Philomath. Capricorn Cusp Aquarius. Leo Ascendent. Taurus Moon Sign. Economic Left/Right: -1.88 Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -2.05.

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