Einsamkeit
Monday, January 28, 2008
  Drudgery and reminiscence
I was out today with my mom to Orchard to do some shopping. I gotten myself a pair of seemingly comfortable shoes and had a hair cut, although it was more of a trim than an actual change of hairstyle.

Vanity matters aside, while I was out in town this afternoon, I saw many uniform-donning students out having fun with their classmates after school, especially on such a bad, moody day like Monday. I am acutely reminded of how much I miss school. I know. I contradict myself very easily. I used to loathe the process of going to school and being in uniforms, all the angst, non-conformity and jazz. Just being out of that system, and in the reality for a mere span of 2 odd months had already made me reminisce about the days being within it, I am doomed for full fledged adulthood. Haha. But really, life back then was much easier to deal with. You just have to go to school, open up your mind for a stream of information to retain and bear with the dull schedule of the school abit, and one school year will be gone. How very easy! Next, uniforms. First, they are relatively comfortable and definitely more airy than usual civilian clothes. Bah, I just miss the experience of entering LT5 on a nice morning, knowing I will learn something awesome after the lecture and getting entertained by either Mdm Anion (GP) or Mdm Sadiaah (Econs), both of which are great lecturers, I now realised! Here's an extract of what happened in one of the more memorable lectures;

Mdm Anion's 2007 AQ Lecture:
*students given a lecture exercise to attempt on the spot"
Mdm Anion: I know, you people [us, students] come from Third World countries ah! Cannot afford foolscrap paper! So I, kindheartedly, allowed some space on the paper for you to write on."
Me: Hehe, haha! Amusing. *follows to finish the exercise quicker than others*

Mdm Sadiaah's International Economics lecture 1:
Mdm Sadiaah: "... [sniped for brevity] governments cannot always opt for this policy, because they have as many opportunity costs as the number of pigeon holes in the staff room..." *tries her very best to keep a straight face for a few seconds, then burst into a fit of Sadiaahesque laughter*
Me: Wtf was that?! LOL! *tried to contain my hysterical laughter within myself*

Mdm Sadiaah's International Economics lecture 2:
Mdm Sadiaah: "XXX [student's name], if I catch you talking/sleeping one more time! I will make sure you go outside and buy 20 burgers, sit down and eat, I tell you!" *points at the not-at-all-disraught student, trying to keep a serious face to no avail, then ruptures into her signature laughter once more*
Me: LOL! Oh that sounds like a great example of the demand curve! Haha!

One highlight of my stay at Serangoon Junior College was last year's National Day/Thanksgiving (in a non-american way) concert. That was the bestestestest school concert I have ever, ever, attended. Everything was planned and performed by the teachers, students weren't informed about any performance details at all. Everyone was in utter suspense of what is about to happen. Anyway, not even one slight glitch in the equipments, sound, or whatever. It was just 2 hours of smooth great entertainment. I swear I never laughed so hard in a school compound. =D The introduction was already absolute ownage. It goes like this;

Emcee: "SRJCians, please rise for the arrival of the Guest of Honour."
*students, in their usual expectations of some old fogey School Advisory Chairman to show up, got up, not suspecting anything to differ this time*
* Star Wars' Imperial March tune started playing*
Me, in my mind: Oh, what the heck are they doing now?! *looks in the direction of the isle*
Holy smokes. There was Darth Vader sauntering in, complete with his signature breathing sound. The rest was history. =D The effort to go to school at night that day was not wasted. Heh.
Another epic scene was during the skit performed by the English Department. This scene was from the famous Shakespeare play of Hamlet, I believe. Mdm Anion threw in many many GP puns in her lines, sparing nobody a chance not to laugh. It was "... why do you always do this? Another absolute proposition!" and "To what extent was your love to him?" Abit forced now I think back, but it was remained very entertaining in my memories. =)

I went back on the first day of school this year, looked at the Staff board. Didn't see Mdm Anion's picture there, didn't see my J2 maths tutor - Mr Lee's picture. I am in sympathy of the future batches of SRJCians who will, regrettably, miss out on great lectures given by Mdm Anion. Too bad! And, Mr Lee was just a nice teacher who will stand beside you and guide you gently, even when you might be exceedingly weak in maths, like myself. Lol.

So much about year 2 in JC. There's one scene from J1 that is rather fond to me, it happened in one of the first few Chinese classes in 2006.

Ivan (I wonder how is he now): “老师,你是不是要我们写作文啊?
Mdm Loh: "我那么笨吗?第一堂课就要你们写作文害自己吐血?“
哈哈!

Bah. I miss drawing benzene rings. I miss counting chiral carbons. I miss getting pissed at maths. I miss feeling like a smart motherfucker at Biology classes. I miss that "Mixed Vegetables Rice" stall. I miss visiting Decknique.net at the computer lab. I miss GoodNews Cafe and their 1 dollar Tea. I miss drawing economics diagrams. I miss the times in lectures when people's desks fall and cause their belongings to scatter all around the floor and subsequently hearing them say, "SH-I-I-TT!" I miss trying my best to evade PE. I miss so many things. Contradictions. Contradictions.
 
Sunday, January 20, 2008
  Amusing
Yesterday, Alden asked me to give him 4 numbers to buy 4D (a kind of number-based lottery betting thing in Singapore, for foreigners here). I, without an hesitation, gave him this - 3567, not thinking it meant anything.

Today, he called me up. The first prize number is 3527. Oh my god damned fucking Wotan, one wrong number, otherwise, he'd have won 300 odd dollars out of the $2 bet he placed. Ack, ack, ack. Anyway, that proved that my ESP skills are not bad at all, having foresaw 3 out of 4 digits correctly. I can't help it. I am psychic.

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Thursday, January 17, 2008
  Nineteen. 19. 十九. XIX.
I am nineteen now. People would ask me about my resolutions. I have a few, I shall post them here. I think I am combining my 2008 resolutions together with my birthday's, makes things easier, I guess. It's also a guideline for how 2008 should be like, because a life without school is pretty aimless, unless you self-impose something. Some of the resolutions might seem ambitious, some idealistic, some just plain dull. Without reservations, here are they:

Other than that, I went to the Greek Masterpieces Exhibition by Lourve today at the National Museum. It's well worth the S$4 I spent on the admission ticket. Great experience, to see the exhibits that are probably hundreds of years old, all the way from France, Lourve. The fact that it's probably once a lifetime thing for people 3 generations before and after mine made it really neat. I urge people who want to have a more delicate time this weekend to pay the museum a visit, you are will be well treated with the exhibits. Enough advertisements. After the visit, I must say I don't exactly favour the Ancient Greek society and how they function. Just think of a society where women held little/no say, sports are excessively emphasised *hint: conformity*, and the overwhelming frequency of war and unrest, and the militaristic patriarchal structure of the society. I am not in much favour of their nonsensical take on religion too, they are polythetistic, that's alright, but they did nothing to enrich their spiritual lives but to do blind sacrifices to their patron-deity, like wtf? Bleh. I would only give them credit for having Socrates, Plato and Aristotle as their citizens, and all other Greek playwriters/historians. Otherwise, the language is pretty nice to look deeper into, it's quite nice to observe how they are integrated into the English language and mathematical notations of today.Socrates, Σωκράτης.
470BC to 399 BC (unfortunately, due to his valour in the name of his so-called heretical ideas)
Butt-Ugly but who cares?! He rocks, more than you, anyway. =)


Then I went to meet up with Kevin for a short chat session at Orchard, then to watch my sister's performance at the Esplanade.

Wooo, it's 1.30am, I should go. Night!

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Tuesday, January 15, 2008
  Nineteen Tomorrow
I am turning 19 tomorrow, and I seriously don't feel a fucking thing. Odd.

Anyway, I finally got to watch Secretary in full instead of bits and pieces from Youtube. It made me went awww for Lee Halloway and so tender towards Sir E. Edward Grey. When the show ended, I was feeling so proud of Lee Halloway. Now I somewhat know how is it like to be a top, to see a bottom's devotion and dedication, it's just so breathe-taking. So lethal to the soft vulnerable insides of the top. The movie is meant to be black comedy, but I think this meant alot to those in The Lifestyle. Thank you for making such a show, Stephen Sondhiem. =)


"Look, we can't do this 24 hours a day, seven days a week."
"Why not?"

Now, back to dull reality. I got a job at POSB Compass Point outlet, to manage the Chinese New Year crowd and crap, I'm not in a mood to explain mundane things. Haha.


If you haven't gotten me my 19th birthday, don't panic. You have some time more still. I can wait. :P Heh.

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Sunday, January 13, 2008
  Memories


I was really bored out of my skull searching of things to watch over at Youtube, then one thing popped up in my mind, my childhood favourite cartoon - Oggy and the Cockroaches. Youtubed it. A great sense of nostlagia and a floodgate of fond memories back in my primary school days came back. I think I was influenced by my primary school friend, it was either Benjamin or Pierre. I got a stronger feeling it was Pierre. Pierre was such a badass motherfucker, to my very impressionable child mind back then. He influenced me into watching Stickdeath, wrestling and having a liking for sinister laughters. I could still remember that day after lunch break before Higher Chinese class when I walked up alone to the hall on the second level. As I walked in, Pierre brisked in my opposite direction and did a Stone Cold Stunner on me, totally unphased and uninformed. I went BAM!, what the fuck has just fucking happened?! The next thing I know I was lying on the paraquet floor, looking up at him. I got up, reorientated myself, wanted to ask what the fuck is wrong with him. To my least expectations, he gave me another Stunner. BAM! That's it. Then after, I became the boys' wrestling matches' referee and I became their buddy.

I always blamed (thanked, to be precise) him for whatever I am now, he ultimately started all the dark, unconventional stuff in me. I wonder how he is doing now. Would love to meet up with him very much, anyway.

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Tuesday, January 08, 2008
  Two Zero Zero Eight
It has been a while since I entered something, I observed. Yeah, I lack the creative drive to post something remotely interesting to entertain the readers here ever since the year of 2008 arrived.

Why? Because I am formally known as an adult now, no more concession fares whenever I travel. Which suck alot, each trip to town area would cost my Ez Link around $1.90 to $2, a vast difference from the student's rate of a mere $0.75. I am a victim of price discrimination. Fuck. Not only that, reality is thrown right in my face, the essentiality of a job and a perpetual sense of stagnanation and dullness or ''sianness'' in simple laypeople's term. Everywhere you go, you feel the monetary pressures on you. Suffocating sensation, I feel imprisoned. For eight more months, I will be bombarded around this feeling of sianness and this cruel reality, while I hope to resume my status as a student in university shortly after. Speaking of which, I am not at all confident I would score well good enough to enter the faculty I desire - School of Biological Sciences. Blah. *fingers crossed* Sigh. In conclusion, I cannot imagine how full fledged working adults think, they must be so intellectually uninspired and devoid. Everything would be about money, working for the superiors to see, office politics, trying to stay afloat, trying to pay for all the unneeded debts that the government/society created, then dying an unrecognised death. I pity them, only to know I will step into that path soon, sigh. It always sucks to see the truth.

Reality aside, I went for Felicity's chalet at Changi last weekend. It's rather enjoyable, and nice to see people you haven't met since the JC madness which started in 2006. Changi is really a nice and tranquil place, too bad we didn't go to the beach, due to a previous mishap in 2002 of which one of us saw something that aren't supposed to be there. A few of us went up the long flight of stairs up to Old Changi Hospital which is allegedly haunted, only managed to stay around the exterior of the building for a few minutes then we left unfortunately. I felt really peaceful there instead of feeling anything fishy, although I have to admit that place feels exceptionally cold. Anyway, thanks Felicity for that nice weekend! =D

On an unrelated note, it's only 8 more days to my 19th birthday. How time ravagedly passed by. 19! One more year to the 20. Old fuck. Jaspas said he's looking forward to his 20th, he says it's good because he will have power. I refute by saying the overwhelming responsibilities will outweigh the power. Maybe it's just a thing that rich well-off people will feel. They won't ever need to really worry about life. Money = overseas studies, less urgency for a job, more opportunities and the list goes on. I sometimes think money is the worst invention next to guns, such a serious unrelenting form of discrimination it is. Poor people are fucked to their next generation, motherfucking vicious cycle. I am grim, I know. Once again, it sucks to know the truth.

Wait wait wait. Isn't a birthday supposed to be a joyous event? Ah yes. Readers, if you are in a mood to do some birthday shopping for the one behind this keyboard, I would appreciate the following items in your shopping inventory: Brian Herbert's Sandworms of Dune, new earphones, the receipe for Starbucks menu, more Lovecraftian madness, lower cost of living, the stopping of inflation, 42, Legalize Murder DVD, good A Level results, a student Ez Link card, peace, silence, something to do in 2008. I demand too much, I stop.

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The human destiny is forever limited by the idiocy of bureaucracy and the excesses of social expectations. - LingNemesis, 2007 C.E.

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Metal-Listener. Card Flourisher. Aspiring Philosopher. Selective Mugger. Ubermensch-to-be. Inspired by Dharma. Nihilist. The Almost Misanthrope. Yogini. Film Enthusiast. Into everything Occult and the Esotercism. Anti-Pretentious Social Situations. Anti-Religion. Anti-Normal. Observer of This Fucked-Up World. Autodidact. Philomath. Capricorn Cusp Aquarius. Leo Ascendent. Taurus Moon Sign. Economic Left/Right: -1.88 Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -2.05.

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