Einsamkeit
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
  Surprisingly accurate.



What Ng Ling Xuan Means



You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.

You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.

You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.

You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.

Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.

You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.

Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are incredibly sexy and sensual. You have a naughty vibe that no one can ignore.

You have an unquenchable desire. And you are unrestrained in your passions.

You have a tendency to be unfaithful. Whether you fight it or give in to it is up to you.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.

And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.

You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

This online boredom buster generator thing is surprisingly accurate. I suspect it's voodoo. Or, they give a combination of similar phrases in different ways, which is the usually the latter.

Anyway, readers, yours truly has started working once again! $$$! =D Yeah, I have worked for 3 days now, since the start of this week. I'm working at the Insititue of Mental Health aka The Loonie Bin aka Hougang Chalet aka Whatever-You-Have-In-Mind-For-It. It's a really nice place, it makes you feel different whenever you step into the compound (which is vast, for the supervisor took an entire hour to give me a tour of the place). It makes you feel isolated, for one. It makes you feel like you're walking into a different atmosphere, like a South Korean walking pass the demilitarised zone into North Korea. The feeling of heading to work was entirely different from what I have experienced whilst I was with Aviva Limited back at the epicentre of Shenton Way. There is no crowd rushing from place to place, no sight of hordes looking completely blunted from the rigidities of work (if I could put it that way, lol). Which is good, because I really disliked how the CBD area felt like, I felt I was shifting through around a capitalism-filled prison. On the contrary, I felt completely at ease whenever I head to work at IMH, although the common perception of the public is to stigmatise everything related to it and would do all to avoid going to that place. I am weird, I know. Pah. What to do? Maybe my vocation lies within one which would aid people and away from the factors that deepen people's miseries. *holy, holy* I think you are running out of breathe now, if you have a penchant to read things aloud, I apologise and I shall end this hefty paragraph here. =)

One sad thing is that I work at the administrative side of IMH, which meant I would have no chance to see or interact with the patients. However, one really nifty detail is that I know the location where the criminally-insane are housed and most of all, *drum roll, please* the fantastic mortuary. Great isn't it? Like how I told Alden, "Crazy dead people, beat that!" In my contrite opinion, the chance to be acqauinted with such knowledge far surpasses the details of money-making that would have filled the minds of many on the streets. Maybe I'm just morbid. I got an inkling the latter holds more truth.

One last thing about the rantings of my new job. The staff library will be a place I will frequent during lunch breaks. There are so many intriguing books, erudite and alluring. Almost yummy. Bah. I am such a nerd. >_>

Other than the abovementioned subject of working, I have successfully injected life into my life which has been a void ever since the end of my A Levels. I registered for a metta meditation course, a guided tour of the Nalanda Buddhism Exhibition at the Asian Civilisation Museum and a one night meditation (yet again, yes, I am deeply interested in that subject) workshop conducted by Venerable Thuten Chondron. Kickass.

Now, I ran out of things to ramble.

Later.
 
Friday, February 15, 2008
  Spare me a moment of nonsense: a Meme.
I realised I have not posted an questionaire here in a long while now, so here is it, I just hope it doesn't bore you too much.

Three Names You Go By:
1. Ling
2. LingNemesis, self-evidently
3. That Loner Who Plays with Cards and Have Earphones On 24/7.

Three Screen Names That You Had:
1. LingNemesis (long standing one, I made this up in late 2005, I am amazed I am not tempted to change it yet.)
2. Vamprye_Magnus (circa 2003 to 2004, initially my SMC username which I think scared many off)
3. Goth_pyschopath666 (circa 2000 to 2002. Bleh, I want to kill myself for saying this publicly, but yes. Laugh at me, go ahead.)

Three Things You Liked About Yourself:
1. Hands (They do those nice things with cards which I am proud of.)
2. My bat fuck insane mind, for it is bat fuck insane.
3. My left little toe which I will fiddle with when I am receiving some muse from above.

Three Things You Don't Like About Yourself:
1. I am easy prey to misanthropy. (Which could be a good thing, actually.)
2. I fall too easily to the lure of Subway sandwiches and more recently, Starbucks Ice Blended.
3. I procrasinate too much and too often. =(

Three Parts of Your Heritage:
1. Chinese 我是正宗华人。
2. Hokkein-speakers thingy?
3. My paternal side has abit of Indonesian influence.

Three Things That Scare You:
1. Unthinking Humanity and its vast supplies of herds.
2. Environment degradation, which is gloriously comitted by humans!
3. Bad music blaring every-fucking-where you go *Umbrella and whatever crap they have concoted* (Just stop it!)

Three of Your Everyday Essentials:
1. A wonderful commodity called The Internet!
2. Inspiring music, or the downright disdain-laden ones which mysteriously attracts my dank soul.
3. Playing cards, duh.

Three Things That You Are Wearing Now:
1. SRJC PE shorts, haha.
2. NCHS PE shirt (Iris house), which is getting quite thin since it's been 3 years since I left that place.
3. The burden of living. Wonderful answer, isn't it?

Three of Your Favourite Music Bands etc (at the moment):
1. Chthonic
2. Dissection
3. Pain

Three of Your Favourite Songs (at the moment):
1. Inis Mona by Eluveitie, I fell in love with it instantaneously.
2. Chariots Rise by Lizzie West, the soundtrack of Secretary.
3. Breath of Ocean by Chthonic


Three New Things That You Would Like To Try in The Next 5 Months:
1. Take refuge.
2. Thinking of attempting a retreat, after I have attended adequate amount of Dharma lessons, of course.
3. Vegetarian diet?

Three Things That You Want In A Relationship:
1. Random, non-American humour.
2. The quality of being playful and erudite at the same time. Hard one, I know!
3. The Lifestyle, preferably. :P

Two Truths and 1 Lie, Spot It
1. My favourite ice cream flavor is chocolate.
2. My favourite band (all time) is Dissection.
3. I am using a blue Wynns deck now.

Three Things About The Opposite Sex (or same) That Attracts You:
1. Humour is paramount. Even twisted ones.
2. Eyes that could talk or bring your heart/soul to burning points and/or freezing depths.
3. The intellect to have a decent conversation, which I observe, is a diminishing quality of both sexes.

Three of Your Favourite Hobbies:
1. Reading
2. Flourishing
3. Mindfulness/Meditation

Three Things You Really Want to Do Badly Now :
1. Get the shit meme done with.
2. Finish reading Dune Bulterian Jihad (50 pages to go)
3. Make hot milo.

Three Careers You Are Considering:
1. Geneticist
2. Biologist
3. Your Nightmare. :p

Three Places You Want to Go On Vacation:
1. Tibet, Poatala Palace, Bodh Gaya, the entire Buddha Trail.
2. Slovenia, Vika has a place for me there! ^^ Oh, Metal Camp, yes!
3. Norway for black metal roots!

Three Things You Want To Do Before You Die:
1. Become inspirational to others. In all ways conceivable.
2. Watch North Korea/Myanmar/Middle East reside in peace.
3. Witness more metal gigs!

Three Kids' Names:
1. Damien, self explanatory.
2. Alia
3. I only want 2 kids.

Three Ways I am Stereotypically A Boy:
1. I abhor romance movies. Unless you are talking about The Secretary.
2. I don't spend more than 15 minutes dressing up.
3. I read fantasy and sci-fi by their series, not novels. Haha!

Three Ways I am Stereotypically A Girl:
1. I have my fangirl moments.
2. My gamete chromosomes read XX.
3. I have had the fucking patience to wait for my hair to grow until they reach mid-back. That is something!

Three Celebrity Crushes:
1. Alan Rickman. Self explanatory.
2. Jon Notivdent.
3. New contender - Noel Fielding/Russell Brand.

That's all, fuckers.
 
Thursday, February 14, 2008
  To break the hiatus
I stand here in apology for my abrupt lack of new entries, for recently, my life is really rather barren of interesting or groundbreaking news or events. You cannot expect much from one who leads the life of being cooped up at home majority of the time, indulging in online happenings and feeling constantly misanthrophic due to my lack of involvement in the society. =)

If you are so demanding to pry into my private life, I can divulge some details.

Ok! A good friend of mine - Scott, from England, London, had recently recommended me to watch BBC's (or is it Channel 4) Big Fat Quiz of The Year over at Youtube. It featured Noel Fielding and Russell Brand, amongst many other outstanding English entertainers. But who in the right fangirl's mind would care to remember any others' names when Noel Fielding and Russell Brand look completely smashing? To prove my point, I shall provide you with a very sufficient picture of them as below:The Goth Detectives are in the lead!
Smitten, aren't you?

If you are still in skepticism, I shall quote something from them;

The quiz asks what did a certain guy ate during some reality show. Noel Fielding and Russell Brand wittyly put, "Wine Gums, Envy, Pieces of Rainbow" when the correct answers are "Eyes, Kangaroo's Anus and a crocodile's penis". Brilliantly random! Got to heart them just for that one! I implore them spiritually to have a series of Goth Detectives show, it's just too good to be missed.

Next, I went to watch "No Country For Old Men" alone this afternoon. This is my second time watching that, actually. I couldn't stand the half-assed pixelated crap that I first saw online. =) Support the originals, children! Besides that, that movie is one where you need more than one viewing to let that experience sink in real deep. I left the theatre in utter *weird sort of* admiration and "liking" for the ruthless, no-frills killer Anton Chigurh. He grows in you slowly, like a virus. :P He's just damn... callous, to the extent of even surpassing Doctor Hannibal Lecter Himself, that's really an achievement.
Anton Chigurh and his signature weapon of intrusion and headshots.
You are fucked.
What's worse? Your fate could sometimes be decided on a coin toss.
Either way, you are fucked.

Bah! I cannot stand it. Anton Chigurh is destined to be the next cult killer icon. Just plain awesome. Next to rewatch/watch are There Will Be Blood and Persepolis. Heh.

Besides the reel and the telly, I have been reading Herbert Jr, Kevin J Anderson's Dune: The Bulterian Jihad, which is rather enjoyable. It is great to read about how did Frank Herbert visioned the beginnings of his epic Dune saga, especially about the origins of Fremen and the popularity of the spice-melange. I really hope the entire Dune series would be made into a series of movies like Lord of The Rings, it will be a great hit and it will surely make Frank Herbert proud. After all, I have never seen a series of novels so endlessly intriguing and entertaining, to remind you, the Dune series now stands at a total of 13 books and still counting. Lord of The Rings does pale in comparison now, hehe!

I think I have ran out of things to rant. I want to meet Ren Hui to go on some abandoned place tour/photosnapping fun and to wave at tourists, most importantly. =D
 
Sunday, February 03, 2008
  A premium Saturday and a pair of ruined feet
What about today? Well, it was a quite a premium saturday that I had today, as compared to my other saturdays in the past few weeks. Premium because I finally got to witness that equally premium movie dubbed "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" with another top-notch companion of mine. He dubs himself "Count Drasula" because he aspires to be a "neck-romancer" as he sweetly puts it. But I usually dub him simply as "Matyn", which he refers to as his imaginary self. Intricate, it is.

Alright! What about the movie? It consisted of indulging myself in the intense soul-piercing stare of Mr. Todd (Depp), wondering how much Helen Bonham Carter resembles Dani Filth in certain angles, very resplendent and plentiful of glorious blood, me relishing in how Judge Turpin (glorious Rickman) moves/looks/talks/gestures and how he threatened that silly boy lover and his locked up lover. I could almost smell the Snape qualities diffusing out of him. Glorious, glorious. I just hate it when Todd ended Turpin's life, it was a real tragedy, from a viewpoint of a Rickman fangirl. (Sorry to Depp, but I favour you a great load, too) I was like "No! Don't take his life!!! Please! I implore you! Don't!" Bah, dramatic dramatic, I know. But yeah, to see how such a beautiful man (with a great alluring voice) die is rather (very) heart-wrenching. Other epic scene was when Todd flunged Mrs. Lovett into the infernal furnace after a swansong fugue and a final dance (of mortality? Lol). It made Matyn laugh, so I think it's good. =) Anyway, to prevent anymore leak of spoilers here, I shall just say the ending was absurd and morality is an asshole! I didn't regret dispersing so much currencies to witness this particular film, for it was well worth the currency dispersed!

Besides the movie and an outing with a top-notch companion, today wasn't so premium if I were to consider the desecration of my feet after wearing my new pair of shoes. Blistered, they are and my archilles area (right foot) bled and I didn't even realised it after I came home to inspect my tortured feet. Fuck! It sucks to be a woman in this particular aspect. Til then, I just I will have to think along the lines of "Pain is pleasure" to sedate my angst. It works, usually. =)

Alright, enough of my mininature talk. I am heading to NTU's Biological Science faculty's event where they are screening a movie/documentary of how the DNA (deoxyribonuclei acids) is discovered and a FAQ session of their faculty. I am quite excited. But I am more excited about their lucky draw prizes, which are iPod Touch(es). ^^ Haha!

Ah, I need to repose now.
 
The human destiny is forever limited by the idiocy of bureaucracy and the excesses of social expectations. - LingNemesis, 2007 C.E.

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Location: Singapore

Metal-Listener. Card Flourisher. Aspiring Philosopher. Selective Mugger. Ubermensch-to-be. Inspired by Dharma. Nihilist. The Almost Misanthrope. Yogini. Film Enthusiast. Into everything Occult and the Esotercism. Anti-Pretentious Social Situations. Anti-Religion. Anti-Normal. Observer of This Fucked-Up World. Autodidact. Philomath. Capricorn Cusp Aquarius. Leo Ascendent. Taurus Moon Sign. Economic Left/Right: -1.88 Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -2.05.

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