Einsamkeit
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
  Paradise Lost?
So my 6 week long school vacation has sounded its death knells and I am now almost halfway through the first week of the second year of my studies in Radiography (still trying to grasp the concept that I am really in this career).

I am mostly glad that I am back in school, to shift my attention away from certain *negative* emotional upheavals pertaining to one of my favourite hobbies that involves finding ways to shuffle pasteboards and largely, underhand, very unemotional ways of fellow hobbyists to their lofty projects and what not. Sigh. So yes, it does feel refreshing to momentarily forgo that sense of emotional aridness and utter isolation, and to immerse myself in simpler tasks like learning and idle chit chat with classmates. Even that latter option is appealing to a person like me, usually so hateful of idle social situations, that tells you alot of the severity of the emotional aridness and isolation I am facing right now. So, I am on an online website detox that is pertaining to any aspect of that above-mentioned hobby. No. That will not be the end of the hobby for me, unfortunately, fellow hobbyists. =)

I was attending the first Communications lecture this afternoon, and one line from the lecturer (whom I thought was a great lecturer already) that hit a very very deep and well-timed chord within me. It goes something like this "I realised something, if you tend to strive for nothing but the truth in any relationship or situation, you are very very likely to be alone." I was sitting there, half reclining with my arms crossed and went speechless mentally for like a minute. Not very easy task to make LingNemesis go speechless mentally for any given amount of time, by the way. Not only did the lecturer gained immediate and utmost respect from me, besides already impressing me alot, this is the rare few times when I felt that I am not going insane from feeling so misanthropic so often. Thank you so much, for that one line. =)

I can't wait for her next lecture. I know great lines will descend from her. I hope I can have a little conversation with her at some point of time.

Hell, bleeping Hell. It has been years and years since I felt that affected by a teacher. The last one being Mr. Dalvey Neo around 5 years ago, back in my secondary school. Amazing.

Too bad it's just a 30 odd hour module. =\

And, tomorrow, we have a National Education lecture which I reckon will be very much like the lower secondary's Social Studies subject. What the hell? I shall enjoy myself by their rendition of Singapore history and what not, and largely by playing out songs and movies in my head, which I am getting exceptionally well at. If my mind proves to be malfunctioning, I can always abuse the free SMS Twitter service. =D

Aus,
LingNemesis
 
Comments:
yeah.. agree... think if have prob in psychology also find her..
 
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The human destiny is forever limited by the idiocy of bureaucracy and the excesses of social expectations. - LingNemesis, 2007 C.E.

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Metal-Listener. Card Flourisher. Aspiring Philosopher. Selective Mugger. Ubermensch-to-be. Inspired by Dharma. Nihilist. The Almost Misanthrope. Yogini. Film Enthusiast. Into everything Occult and the Esotercism. Anti-Pretentious Social Situations. Anti-Religion. Anti-Normal. Observer of This Fucked-Up World. Autodidact. Philomath. Capricorn Cusp Aquarius. Leo Ascendent. Taurus Moon Sign. Economic Left/Right: -1.88 Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -2.05.

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