So. I will depart the era of being in my teenage years very soon. I am breathing the last ounces of air in my swansong hour of my 19th year on this wretched place called Earth, before I smoothly
transit into the next phase of my much unexciting life which will start on a new dot of the linear timeline. The dot denoting the 20th year of my existence.
20 is an odd age to resume. It's like being stuck in between nowhere, in a limbo, in a purgatory of time and status. At least one get more movie choices and rights to tick at electoral boxes at 21. Yet being 20 is considered as a milestone, a new chapter of sorts, a new dot on that finite timeline we all possess.
But, really, for brevity's sake, it is just "same shit, different day."
Many optimists will expound on me that I should look on the bright side and be less cynical. I can't help it. However, I must say, the time spent between 10 years old and 19 years old were pretty amazing. I have found my rasion d'etre
(s) - that is to listen to glorious metal music, to find more ways to shuffle with 52 pieces of paper, to philosophize according to my own system, to autodidact myself, amongst others. Awesome. Not being sacrastic, but it was really quite amazing to spend the later half of my 10-19 year old's time delving into an amazing hobby that is card flourishing, and reaping what I have never imagined would have derive from it. I have met many amazing people who inspired me, too, in that timespan. One prominent person would be my secondary school history teacher called Mr. Neo. He practically moulded my mode of thoughts and gave me another rasion d'etre
- to be a diginified metalhead.
Alright, so what the fuck is this ranting person talking about nostalgia and shit?
Well, I am wondering if my 20s will be as exciting and fulfilling as my previous years. And that if I will encounter any more inspiring characters, knowing such individuals exist in increasing diminishing numbers along the variable of time. I also hope that my autodidactism and my philosophizing will continue well and strong in my 20s, since I have knew many case studies of individuals who dwindled their brilliance because of an oligation called work *cattle for society!* and the sake of creating a family and shallowness of workplace politics, or, for the matter, politics in general. That's a tragedy in my appendix.
I will keep my fingers crossed.
Happy 20th Spawnday to me. Time to head out and do special things and feel special!
PS: And, happy 40th birthday to an equally amazing individual of the same birthdate as mine - "Dead" Per Yngve Ohlin
too. Rest in peace, Dead.