Einsamkeit
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
  To Bid You Farewell, 2008
As I figured I'd out wasting my time squeezing with other hundred thousands of equally bored people out in the town tomorrow night waiting for 5 minutes worth of fireworks or some form of amusement somehow, I shall post my final blog post now.

So, let's look back in the year 2008 from one aspect to another.

I felt strange in the year 2008, it feels as thought the year is divided into two parts. Before I gotten my A Level Results and after. Before I have acquired my results, I was just spending time working odd jobs and lazing away my time. There wasn't really anything happening, honestly. My emotions ranged from carefree joy to thinking capitalism is an evil concept because I had no travel concession so I had to spend alot on getting around to feeling extremely and intensely alienated due to my excessive lack of human contact. The sense of alienation was so immense that I actually felt misanthropic. Pretty bad it was. It was then that I have watched the most number of movies in the shortest time possible - like a mean number of 2 movies each day. During these first few months of 2008, I had my brush with a long terrible sickness which rendered me incapable to eat comfortably for nearly 2 weeks, which was my experience with insane rate of weight loss. Impressive, say the least.

Then, came the A Levels results, which changed my emotional state for the. worst. The set of grades didn't bring optimism for admission into the mainstream local universities, so I made to settle with a course and school I didn't have initial intention to. A sense of furthur alienation sunk into my consciousness, being unable to move on to university like a normal junior college student would, therefore losing out on the experience of going to a university. Trust me, this doesn't feel good, at all. So, henceforth, I could no longer laugh heartily and I have been ever more misanthropic. This doesn't help at all for my naturally introverted disposition... I just seem to take a deeper plunge into solitude; hoping I'd see nobody that I know on the streets when I am out; hoping nobody would come and shatter my silence; hoping nobody would ask me about my academic life or about anything for that matter. I grew to like isolation and silence. Drawing joy solely from music, movies and things I read. There were times, I felt as if the isolation and misanthropic atmosphere is so thick around me, enclosing me in, suffocating me. Madness.

Enough of wretchedness, you might want to inform me. Alright! Moving on!

I shall not touch on metal music listening, because that has became so routinised in me, I could no longer feel any significiance in happenings in this aspect. It's just a continual listen, numb to the variables of time and space. Haha. I have to give credits to albums like Cradle of Filth's Godspeed on The Devil's Thunder, Pain's Cynic Paradise, Eluveitie's Slainas, which gave some spice into my auditory cauldron though. Those are heavily impressive albums that are worth a hear. I just wish Lamc Productions or any production company would stop bringing in redundant shows *Ting Tings!* *Dream Theatre and A7X for the nth time!* and spend their resources on something worthwhile like *ahem* Opeth or Cradle of Filth or Immortal or Anything-is-better-than-TingTings.

I also shall not touch on card flourishing because I have been doing it for 4 years and counting, nohing is really worth going insane over. Except I finally slain procrastination and went out to film several individual videos which has proved to be comforting to me to see my ideas made flesh. You can witness my visual vicious vendetta below;







Expect for more arty farty videos from me in 2009!

On all things erudite, I must say I have attained a more diverse and comprehensive view of philosophy from my autodidactic endeavour, which has pleased the ravenous depths of my mind extensively. Also, I have watched more movies than ever (still less than the hell-bent Kevin who swore to watch every film in IMBD.com Top 250 and not go blind in the process, I know) this year, amounting to nearly 90 movies, that's close to watching a movie every 3 to 4 days or so on an average. Impressive for my raveous pair of beginner-filmwatching eyes. For the movies released this year, I have enjoyed Burn After Reading, No Country for Old Men, There Will Be Blood, Sweeney Todd *Sweet Rickman!*, Tokyo! (Japanese), Forgetting Sarah Marshall *even sweeter Russell Brand!*, Dark Knight, The Banishment (Russian) and Tropic Thunder most. Now, I am awaiting the opening of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Valkyrie next in the first quarter of 2009, to see Brad Pitt screw up his biological clock and to see Tom Cruise getting screwed by the Nazis for dissent. Whoo!

Enough of talking about myself!

I would like to take this cyber opportunity to extend my thanks to these people for making 2008 a bearable year.

My family. They are the best, no questions. I mean, come on, you have a sister who is an uprising singer and has a CD released and whom you can talk anything (ranging from movies to intellectual stuff) to, you have a brother who shares the humour and fun with, parents who make you laugh and appreciate. That is enough.

Rasul whose constant sessions of soul exposure, or more like him probing me into talking and me hearing his lewd and sardonic discourses about life and lunacy and people and his quatrains, brought much joy and distraction from life and living itself. His company has proven to be indispensible. Although he has always adovcated about leading life without any tender emotional endearments. I would like to give him one massive Platonic thank you. I hope I have made his 2008 interesting, say the least.

Alden - a friend that I have known for 8 years and counting. A person whom I can talk casually with, a person whom I can share my joys and sorrows and nonsense with. A person to whom I can let my guard down and admit "Yes, I am a sucker!". A true friend to me in more than 1 way, our shared interest in cards, metal music, The Face of Melinda, occult, nonsense, and most of all - misan behaviour. I can't imagine life without him. One amazing person despite his self-negating tendencies. Thank you, Alden! Let's have more misan in 2009!

Valerie whose shared conversations made me felt ever comfortable and less tense. It's really amazing to have you by my side, soothing out my nerves. Thank you, Valerie. Have a great 2009 ahead, whatever your endeavours be!

The Flourishers/Card Wielders - Jaspas, Leon, Jordan (later part of 2008), Ambrose, Stuart, Ben You, Kenneth (later part of 2008), Kevin (for the front part of 2008 when he is still in Singapore), for their continual meetups that made my Saturdays less dull and made me continously motivated to fiddle with my paper rectangles and to come up with new material. You guys are amazing friends to have; always there to inspire, to motivate, to make me laugh, to make me be interested in card flourishing continously, to spend time with, to push the art of cards together. I am very grateful for all of your presences. Let's make 2009 an even better year for the pasteboards! Viva la Flourishing!

Vika Korosec "Dust Puppy" for those nifty online chats, you have injected life into my life greatly and I appreciate the friendship and your temptations for me to head to MetalCamp endlessly. I would really wish to meet you in real 3 dimensional life someday, one day! Then we can go geek around, metal around, whatever. =)

To the rest of the humanity, thank you for making me realise you have too many flaws and superificial qualities and that I most probably hate you. ^^ You just made my socialising easier, I do not have to spend time doing trial and error work. Amazing.

Now, for 2009, I wish for normalcy for I innately know irony will come back in a catapult in your face and whatever you wish for will backfire somehow. Just give me normalcy, I will do the miracles myself. Wahahaha.

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Comments:
90? Try 314. I finished the IMDb Top 250 in July, by the way. My eyesight's fine as far as I'm concerned ;)

Cool to read that you had a productive year. Just realized tomorrow is New Year's Eve... damn. Time sure does fly by quickly.

-Kev, The Virts
 
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The human destiny is forever limited by the idiocy of bureaucracy and the excesses of social expectations. - LingNemesis, 2007 C.E.

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Metal-Listener. Card Flourisher. Aspiring Philosopher. Selective Mugger. Ubermensch-to-be. Inspired by Dharma. Nihilist. The Almost Misanthrope. Yogini. Film Enthusiast. Into everything Occult and the Esotercism. Anti-Pretentious Social Situations. Anti-Religion. Anti-Normal. Observer of This Fucked-Up World. Autodidact. Philomath. Capricorn Cusp Aquarius. Leo Ascendent. Taurus Moon Sign. Economic Left/Right: -1.88 Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -2.05.

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