As 2008 sounds its death knells.
Only 3 days left in the year of 2008.
School begins again tomorrow for me, it is weird. People around are having some sort of closure for the year, while I am faced with the mindset of a new term, another start. It sort of screws up my sense of time and space, half of me will be recalling the past year and half of me will be trying to adapt to the new term once again and to get the momentum going again. The timetable is terrible that way, to screw up my sense of time and space, making my mind go topsy trying to register events on the timeline. The inability to register the events made me melancholic. It's like facing a big morass of emotional entanglement, losing the capability to explain it, lost. One big mess. I lack the words to describe it succinctly. The only phrase I think I can use is "I can feel the abyss staring back at me."
Somehow, I have always felt I do not belong to the human race... It's like I think I will be better off being part of nature or an element or cosmic energy. Very queer inclination, yes. But at least, I believe I will like that much better than being a human. Anything is better than being a human trying to fit into the world of superficial shallowness, irrationality, the absurd, and the burden of living and pseudo responsibilities of work and social roles.
The abyss is staring back at everyone, without their knowledge.