Monday, February 27, 2006
  Ban Bread!
  1. More than 98% of convicted felons are bread users.

  2. Fully HALF of all children who grew up in bread consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

  3. In the 18th century, where virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were exceptionally high; many woman died in childbirth and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever and influenza ravaged whole nations.

  4. More than 90% of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

  5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month.

  6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's Disease, Parkinson's Disease as well as osteoporosis.

  7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread in as little as two days.

  8. Newborn babies can choke on bread.

  9. Bread is baked in temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

  10. Bread has proven to absorb water. Since the human body is 90% water, it follows that eating bread could lead your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey, bread pudding person.

  11. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babble.
Those are enough reasons to stop consuming bread, people!

  Some updates.
Greetings, my fellow scum-of-the earth readers, time for some updates regarding my foul life.

Last saturday saw a very eventful and fun day. Met someone who is extremely significant to me for lunch (she didn't eat though, she really need to eat some proper food!) at Cathay Cineleisure. Seeing nothing interesting at all in the stretch of Orchard Road, we decided to head to Penninsula aka The Metalhead Heaven for a look. Things always come in twos, there is absolutely nothing at Penninsula as well. And, Immortal 'Damned in Black' album is sold out! Darn, now I have to wait another 2 weeks for the next shipment to come. Next, we decided to head for the SMC magic outing at Esplanade. And, that was the first time I have stepped into Penninsula in 1 month plus! Am I even a metalhead?

In the midst of walking to Esplanade, we dropped by HMV for a search for Rammstein's Sehnsucht album as Heeren's HMV doesn't has it. Okay great, there's one copy left, and it's Flake on the album cover! Without futhur ado, I grabbed the album and proceeded to the cashier and successfully made myself poorer by $28.50, great isn't it? HMV is a bloody rip-off! After that, we went to MPH aka the Geekdom as Draco Granger proudly proclaimed. Nerd-ed around for a while, Draco found a novel with the title with something like 'Ritual Killers', and she/he went high and wanted to buy it, to his/her disappointment, his/her wallet doesn't agree with the decision. Embracing the feminine side, as she/he put it, by going shopping and being determined to spend all her/his money. Weird.

After which, we arrived at the Esplanade Underpass aka The Inferno In Cruel Disguise. Wow, alot of new faces that I don't know where to start introducing myself and start mingling. Whatever it is, Jedi Master JasPas Christ is sure a prominent figure as he was donning a hot pink shirt and sprayed-blue hair. Huron -- The God, as Siyang has said, was there as well, out kicking some mortal's arse(s). It is entirely great to see many familiar faces around, like Ecai, Kev H, Daren, Jeremy, Aloy, Edwin and some other I can't remember. And, Ning seems to have lost interest in magic entirely. Sigh. My jie-jie is magic and SMC is on a indefinite hiatus. People starting pouring in and out, having great fun, looking at the pros flourish and getting owned pretty badly. =P Seriously, those newbies should be more outgoing and spontenous instead of sitting there alone with a deck in their hand and stoning away. Relax, people, I'm not going to mein teil you! =) As usual, my Tornado impressed many, including God and his angels.

So it was random jamming around, talking and having great fun. JasPas suggested to film a mini flourish compilation video, so there we went filming some stuff. I did my Tornado as usual, it being my forte. To see the final outcome of the video and wanting to get owned, please feel free to click the following link: Jam Time. =D And, it's so good to have friends who are of age, JasPas bought me some alcohol. =D Hooch is a nice drink, unlike bitter beer.

After having enough of that hellish hellhole that has minimal air-conditioning, me, Daren, JasPas, Daryl and Siyang decided to head to Shaw Towers for dinner. There, Daryl told alot of lame jokes and I do not actually get them. After dinner, we hung around Castle for a while, and Daryl told even more lame jokes. Saw Daniel and Ada, wow, my first few magic friends, it was good to see them again, and see how time has past. Feeling rather worn, we decided to part our ways home.

Saw my ex-classmates, Aaron, Siping, Calesta, KaiLing, and the usual fare of whiny girls at Bugis MRT. Jesus fucking christ, they suck! It's a very stark difference between them and my magic friends and my metalhead fiends. I simply cannot stand them and their way of talking. Filthly proletariats. Eew. They urged me to show some magic, but I merely flourished abit. Hence, I'm so sticking to my magic/metal music pals. I simply cannot blend together with their frequency. Period. Enough said.

That day saw the longest time I had my hands on my cards flourishing, I flourished from 3 pm to 1 am the next morning. 10 hours! I can't feel my hands at the end of it. Nonetheless, it was all worth it for my favourite hobby, flourishing. This is totally random here, I heart flourishing and is willing to devote my life to it for the art's perfection. =D And, I do not like the term 'juggling' for flourishes. It's degradatory. I call flourishes a visual symphony.

And, I slowed down Jam Time video to count the number of turns in my Tornado cut there, there's 12 complete turns in around 2 seconds. That means my speed is 6 turns per second. =D [grinning very widely] That is Dragonforce guitar solos in the form of cards. Haha. Weird comparison. I'm a Power Card Flourisher! And, there's Black Card Flourisher, and Death Card Flourisher as well. Haha. This is getting so O.o. My ego is being stroked beyond recognition simply because of my Tornado cut which I thought isn't very amazing. Now, I know why Master JasPas says I have not started flourishing yet. The fun part is owning people and feeling 'God-like'. That's real flourishing. =P

Okay, enough of rubbishy ranting here.

Stroked Ego,
27th Feburary 2006 AD
[off to flourish even more]
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Greetings, fellow reader-fiends. It's been a while since I updated this wretched blog of mine, so here am I, satisfying your foul reading desires.

These few days had been rather boring. The reason being, I am cooped up at home with absolutely nothing much to do except to ''enrich'' my mind with new perversions by reading tonnes of fanfiction daily, and finger my cards occasionally and listen to more metal that dominate my ears for 99% of the time.

I am damn freaking pissed at this riddle called 'Phonetix Riddle', a rather poser name. Here's the link, if you are equally bored as me; http://feroz.letzebuerg.org/riddle2/index.htm.

I can bet you my middle finger that you will go insane doing this riddle, so happy going insane. =) [I am stuck at 24/30 after hours... That's the level of bo-liaoness I am suffering currently.]

And, I have called it a day for my work encounter with Fantasma Magic. I really enjoyed working for Fantasma, it gave me a lot of performance chances and it has definitely also gave me alot of experience and exposure to different kinds of audiences. I almost had an heart attack when I am supposed to perform for the Hong Kong director, Albert Tam. Nonetheless, I pulled everything off decently and managed to sell a Miracle Deck to him . =D Generally, I would re-join Fantasma Magic whenever I have free time, it's a great opportunity to perform and experminate your performing styles.

On the other hand, school is restarting soon. I have not written anything by hand since middle November, I am so dead. Must go recall all the sec 4 stuff and prepare myself for a hellish bout of hardcore mugging in JC. I am going to heck care Chinese and PE, fail then fail, who cares. I think I will get into SRJC most probably 99 %.

That's about it, my reader-fiends.

Still don't feel like going back to school,
22nd Feburary 2006 AD
Thursday, February 16, 2006
  Litany against Cabbage
Still obsessed about the sci-fi epic sextet series, Dune, I joined a fan forum sometime ago and I found this spoof of the famous quote of the Bene Gesserit.

The Original one : Litany against Fear.

"I will not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

--Bene Gesserit, Litany against Fear

The spoof Cabbage version: Litany against Cabbage.

I must not be a cabbage.
Cabbages are the mind-dead.
Cabbages are the little-dead that bring grayface.
I will confront cabbages.
I will not permit cabbages pass over me and through me.
And when l have turned them into coleslaw, I will turn the inner eye to see them on my plate with my baked potatos.
When the cabbages have gone into my stomach, there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

Monday, February 13, 2006
  Count Orlock.
Jesus Christ! I just finished watching an extremely disturbing horror movie, called Shadow of the Vampire. It's basically about a director, namely Friedrich W. Murnau, who is determined to film the most realistic rendition of the Gothic film classic, Nosferatu. Friedrich went about to hire a stange actor who claims to be Max Schreck. But things does not seem that simple. Friedric, maddened by his dreams of the perfect film, is willing to sacrifice his crew members for the film, leaving the evil-doer, Count Orlock to reign over the whole production.

I was highly disturbed at the end of the film... Thinking which to trust... And, Count Orlock has definitely qualified into my 'Villian Heart-Throb'' list.

Here's a quote from the movie:

(Upon being asked what he thought of the book, Dracula, by Bram Stoker)
Count Orlock: It made me sad.
Albin: Why sad?
Count Orlock: Because Dracula had no servants.
Albin: I think you missed the point of the book, Count Orlock.
Count Orlock: Dracula hasn't had servants in 400 years and then a man comes to his ancestral home, and he must convince him that he -- that he is like the man. He has to feed him, when he himself hasn't eaten food in centuries. Can he even remember how to buy bread? How to select cheese and wine? And then he remembers the rest of it. How to prepare a meal, how to make a bed. He remembers his first glory, his armies, his retainers, and what he is reduced to. The loneliest part of the book comes... when the man accidentally sees Dracula setting his table.

Oh gosh, the way Count Orlock hisses and snarls, and his ratty motions he protrayed flawlessly just turns me on... I think JK Rowling is inspired by Count Orlock for her fictional character of Wormtail. =P

Blah, Count Orlock, take me! Just kidding!

People! Go watch that movie!

Hereby signing off, mortals,
13th Feburary 2006 AD.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Dear reader-fiends who frequents this accursed journal of yours truly, you might be thinking why I have not updated you with news of my O level results. The reason is; I do not wish to comment and delve into that abdominable issue, as it will spark off many (good and bad alike) emotions within me, which will ultimately result in the rise of death rates in Singapore.

The only thing I am willing to reveal is that my results are very monotonous and that I can enter a (medicore) Junior College. Full Stop.

I want to depart with those melancholic memories that nearly and always suffocates me concerning my secondary school life and my ruinations of my various upper secondary exam results that never failed to deepen my sorrows if they aren't deep enough. I want to start anew...

Oh yes, there's one interesting encounter yesterday that strengthened my already-perverted mind. Cute young boys. Awww. My Voldemort wants them too. =P I was showing magic to a very cute boy and he was apparently amazed by my colour changes, and he was standing in front of me, he was shorter than me even when I was sitting down and the angle which I looked down upon him was 'Whee!' His smal hands spread those cards so slowly yet so gracefully, and his minute amount of body heat was spreading to my body... The innocent expression on his face was simply too much for me to undertake... Jesus! Can I kidnap him and keep him as a pet? Okay, I know that's my Voldemort's lines, but boys are really nice if they are cute and quiet. =) Okay, I shan't go deeper into the details, as it will pollute the minds of my reader-fiends. =P

[is reading Fall of the House of Usher, and it's good.]

In swoon for young boys,
12th February 2006 AD.
Friday, February 10, 2006
  My fate shall be decided

It is today. Today, 2.30pm. Today, 2.30pm in that drank school hall of NCHS. I shall wear that uniform for the very last time and I shall sit together with my 4Integral people for the last time as well. The worry and stress is ever mounting inside me, like dead bodies after a disaster... I will be meeting my ex-classmates for lunch at none other than the fucking school canteen, how nostalgic indeed.

Should I be a kiasu singaporean and be super worried all the way or should I be a heck-care metalhead who do not give a fuck about anything?

Yesternight saw the paramount of worrying as me and Rei confided in each other as we reminisced over each respective's secondary school life and how we felt about whilst doing the Os. To avoid me having a sleepless night, I drank a veteran mixed drink of Tiger beer and Root beer, as I fingered my cards good as usual. The drink and chat with Rei did little to alleviate my mood as I woke up with the first thought saying, 'Os results?! Oh crap!' And, that lesson of that Buddhism course did not make me feel better, instead, I find myself wandering off to worry even more about that fucked and mein-teiled Os.

Here am I, typing this, and listening to Immortal, and feeling even more grim and ''cold'' inside...

God bless me, if there is any in the first place.

Worried and with eyebrows furrowed in,


10th February 2006 AD.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006
  An encounter with Mayhem.
Yesterevening saw the surreal gathering with the Gods of Black Metal at a blasphemous location where strong winds prevail.

First things first, Mayhem and Arifeen and gang arrived in a mini-bus with reinforcements that consisted of alot of alcohol. Nice. I feel so weird and out of place partially because I was the one of the five or six people there not wearing an Mayhem shirt and that I was one of few girls there. I feel rather constricted and uneasy. Then, I shook hands with each of the Mayhem's members, and then I feel even more surreal about all these. Nonetheless, Mayhem seemed like a bunch of down to earth and friendly people. Neat. =)

Then, to break some ice with Mayhem, I decided and finally picked up the courage to show some magic to them. The god damned wind was so strong, I lost my control of the cards. At first, I showed the sound technician, who directed me to Hellhammer aka the drummer as Hellhammer knew magic. Wow! Seriously WOW! Hellhammer knows magic! He showed me a card effect, it was good! And, Mayhem is a nice audience, unlike normal singaporeans who shun or criticise magic as child's play. =)

This was followed by the crazed bout of photograph taking session. Took over 10 to 20 photographs with Mayhem and the gang of invited people. And, me and Rei took some individual photos with Attila/Hellhammer, Alex aka the birthday boy, Blasphemer and of course Necrobutcher. It was so surreal! [asks myelf, 'Am I dreaming?!']

Everything then became more comfortable and we started eating, though I didn't eat much, instead I drank alot of soft drink and tried some alcohol but they doesn't taste nice.

Whee! This is another milestone in my pathetic life. I fucking met Mayhem up close and personal! Be very jealous of me! Haha! =P Just kidding...

A New Me,
8th Feburary 2006. AD
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
  Fateful Friday
It has been confirmed. GCE O Level Results will be released on this very Friday, at the apocalytic time of 2.30PM.

The moment I heard the news and confirmation messages sent by ex-classmates in secondary school, I could feel my heartbeat increase tenfold and my skeletal muscles will contrict and my blood vessels will dilate, and my breathing increased as well, adrenaline was pumped into me. Haha. I still remember my biology! =)

Anyways, crapping aside, I solemnly hope that my L1R5 will be anywhere from 12 to 15, then I'm gay happy. Please... God (if there is any), be a nice bloke and not let history repeat itself like prelims. Although, I proudly proclaim that I'm a Polymer, I still secretly hope that I can make it into a JC and secure my way to an University for my dream job -- Genetics/Stem Cell researcher. Bah, I shall consult my tarot later, though I know it won't help much.

God played a cruel joke on me when he sent a realistic dream that depicted my O level results my way. I acutely remember that I gotten 19 points for L1R5, and 16 for L1R4. I remembered an absurd grade for my biology, I got a fucking B3. That's fucking no way. And, I got an A for my English. Bleah, better not trust dreams.

I could only relax myself tonight when I get to meet the Legends of Black Metal later tonight. Hellhammer, here I come! It will be a kickarse outing, that I am rather sure of. =)

And, I have just started to read George Orwell's 1984. Oceania is a terrifying place. Big Brother and The Party are even scarier. To let you, my reader-fiends, have a taste of the wrath of the Big Brother, here's a few lines:

On coins, on stamps, on the covers of books, on banners, on posters, and on the wrapping of a cigarette packet - everywhere. Always the eyes watching you and the voice enveloping you. Alseep or awake, working or eating, indoors or out of the doors, in the bath or in bed - no escape. Nothing was your your own except the few cubic centimetres inside your skull.

Very. Terrifying.

Big Brother is watching you,
7th Febuary 2006. AD.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
  Androgynous me!
You scored 73 masculinity and 76 femininity!

You scored high on both masculinity and femininity. You have a strong
personality exhibiting characteristics of both traditional sex roles.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 81% on masculinity
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 87% on femininity
Link: The Bem Sex Role Inventory Test written by weirdscience on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test
Saturday, February 04, 2006
  Uh huh...
Was reading some fanfiction on Lord Voldemort and found these 2 paragraphs that made me half grin and half dreaded as I knew how it feels like to incur the Dark Lord's wrath.

Here's it:

"Please, Tom. Don't..." Minerva begins. Her words bring my ire to the fore and I turn on her, eyes blazing with rage. Within barely the time it takes her heart to beat once, I have my wand pointed at her.

"Do not ever call me by that name, Minerva.You will not like the consequences you will incur, should you do so again," I warn her softly, my voice hissing out between clenched teeth. She pales and gives a slight nod of her head, but says nothing more. The entire time, the girl watches us with horror scrawled across her face. I risk a glance at her and a quick trip into her mind and find that she is still oblivious to what will happen here momentarily. All I do find is her fear for her beloved Professor McGonagall.

  A reunion.
Started the wrenched day of meeting my long-lost paternal big aunt who went ''missing'' for around 35 years. Thirty-five fucking years. Fathom that.

To give the reason why she went missing a miss, because I was not sure of why she did that as well, all I knew was because of family politics that drove her to the edge of her threshold. So she just vanished from the face of the Earth when she was around 20 plus years old, like any cheesy movie or that Missing TV show. Then, my unfortunate father plus his siblings and my lone grandmother (my grandfather was a jerk, he left the family as well) waited in total vigil for my big aunt's return every single day for the whole of 5 to 6 years until they saw no hope and could not shed anymore tears. It must be heart-harrowing for them.

Thus, she went off to a life of aimless wonderings and luckily, a kind hearted family took her in and took decent care of her. Somehow somewhat, she landed in Malaysia Sabah where she met her husband who is extremely cool from what I saw from the photographs, he's in a band and a keyboardist and guitarist. The couple then begatted 3 progenies, Terence, Elizabeth and (shit, I forgot her name... Sorry!), also known as my new cousins. =D Terence, 31 years old, is going to have a marriage soon, looks like a boring person. No offense! Eilzabeth, from what her mother quoted, is a totally hip and driven person, great! The youngest of my set of new cousin is I-got-no-comments. Back to the main character, Auntie Theresa, from what I observed from her speech, is a determined and willed dudette. She said, 'You know Mother Theresa? I'm the opposite. I'm The Sin.' Ha! Brilliant. =) And, most of all, she speaks proper and proficient english which made it even more cool. Now I can find something I like in my paternal family tree. Auntie Theresa, you rock! =) I shall request you if your son's wedding dinner needs a walkaround magician. I will be glad to offer entertainment for worthy relatives. =)

After that, I went off to Orchard with my mother again for purchase of my new shoes. Say goodbye to my old fucked up Nike.Got myself a pair of Converse brown sneakers. After which, I proceeded to purchase a collection of HP Lovecraft book. Matyn, be jealous of me! =) Heh! Kidding.

Had my Abendessen at an awesome place called Pepper Lunch at Takashimaya. That meal reminded me acutely of Mein Teil. They had a hot plate for you to cook your meats and bean sprouts and all. Just add honey, soya sauce, pepper and salt to the hot plate and witness the sizzling action of the meat can offer, and have a mental image of Flake being mein teiled by Till and subsequentially grin to yourself and pretend the meat is human flesh. There, done. =)

And, finally got my hands on 1984 of George Orwell. Going to read it later, no read is not the word, devour is.

And, Voldemort, thanks for that lesson on faith and trust yesterday. I believe you have alot to teach me alot more stuff in the near future. And, that missive you handed to me was heart-melting. Ich lieben du... I will always be your Perfect Wormtail. Always. Knien fur dich is Gut.

Okay! No more mushy shit before Tom kills me or gives me a slap for my insubordination.

Shit, O level results coming out next week. So. Goddamned. Scared. [prays]

It's Mayhem tomorrow! It shall be total karnage and nekro musik in SINgapore. Although, I'm not going even though Mayhem is like the legends of Black Metal. I'm waiting for Cradle of Filth and Rammstein. =D

A Diahorrea of words,
4th Febuary 2006 AD
Thursday, February 02, 2006
  Enlightenment - within your grasp.
I feel that it is best to me to post some thought-provoking lines from some Buddhism prayers here and hope that you reader-fiends, could find something beautiful in Buddhism.

Refuge and Bodhichitta

I go for refuge until I am enlightened.
To the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha.
By the merit I create by practising generosity and the other perfections,
May I become a Buddha in order to benefit all sentient beings.

Four Immeasurables

May all sentient beings have happiness and the causes of happiness.
May all sentient beings be free from suffering, and the causes of suffering.
May all sentient beings be inseparable from the happiness that is free from suffering.
May all sentient beings abide in equanimity, free from the bias of attachment and hatred.

See the light of Buddhism, feeling the slavation that Buddhism can offer? Haha! Nah, just kidding. It's all up to you, my reader-fiends. The doors will always be open for you. =)
Today saw the 'exciting' outing with my mom and the debut lesson of the Buddhism course -The Stages of the Path to Enlightenment at Kong Ming San monastery.

I think I don't need to talk alot about the 'exciting' outing with my mom. So let's talk more about the latter event of today.

First and foremost, as I was walking towards the library of the monastery, I asked myself, 'This is even real?!' But, that thought killed itself when I stepped into the library and took the folder. The sight of the serene Buddha statue just broke that barrier of surrealism and calmed myself down totally and that sense of calmness is amazing and overwhelming. Plus, I can bet you my middle finger that I am the youngest there.

The programme started as follows; the mass recital of The Heart Sutra, Refuge and Bodhichitta, Four Immeasurables and the Offering Prayer. There's many perplexing-looking terms that I have no idea of how about to go pronouncing, nonetheless, it's a rather nice feeling. That was followed by the Meditation session, and that's what I am absolutely proud of. I stayed completely, and I mean, totally completely, still both psychically, mentally and spiritually for whole 15 minutes. That's a feat for us, city dwellers. I look forward to that. It's extremely peaceful and tranquil. And, in the middle of that meditation, I felt a bond between me and the Buddha statue. The statue is, as if, shining like a lone beacon, spreading love and wisdom far and wide. Ah! I heart you, Buddha for your eminence and knowledge that is so brilliant and helpful to people like us, who are equally competent of attaining Enlightenment. =)

Enough of declaration of love for Buddhism.

This first lesson is more like an detailed introduction for Buddhism. I have known the basic concepts of it, thus this is easy for me to absorb. And, one downside, can the instructor talk faster and with more live? I am going to fall into a coma if she speaks like that. Hello? I am a teenager...

That's about it for my debut encounter in attending a course in a monastery. =)

Bleah, work tomorrow. [performing mode activated]

With love and respect for Buddhism,
2nd Febuary 2006 AD.

Auf Wiedersehen!
The human destiny is forever limited by the idiocy of bureaucracy and the excesses of social expectations. - LingNemesis, 2007 C.E.

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Metal-Listener. Card Flourisher. Aspiring Philosopher. Selective Mugger. Ubermensch-to-be. Inspired by Dharma. Nihilist. The Almost Misanthrope. Yogini. Film Enthusiast. Into everything Occult and the Esotercism. Anti-Pretentious Social Situations. Anti-Religion. Anti-Normal. Observer of This Fucked-Up World. Autodidact. Philomath. Capricorn Cusp Aquarius. Leo Ascendent. Taurus Moon Sign. Economic Left/Right: -1.88 Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -2.05.

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