Einsamkeit
Thursday, August 31, 2006
  Heh
Was reading up on child prodigy on Wiki;

[quote] Although Hollingworth's findings may be outdated, some adjustment issues for child prodigies are obvious. It is not uncommon for the highly intellectually capable to be ostracized in school, or at least be emotionally dulled by the conversation of their average classmates. They typically have very different priorities than other people, with popularity, friendship, and common excitement playing second fiddle to the quest for knowledge, mastery of skill, or more personal yearnings, creating a mis-step with society. In addition, the unusualness of a prodigy's priorities and capabilities can lead to difficulty in relating to his or her peers. [/quote] (strike a chord?!)

Hee hee hee. Self consolation for my tendency to be a total weirdo loner. Lol.

Oh more that reflected on me! [quote] Autodidacticism (also autodidactism) is self-education or self-directed learning. An autodidact, also known as an automath, is a mostly self-taught person — typically someone who has an enthusiasm for self-education and a high degree of self-motivation. While some may have been educated in a conventional manner in a particular field, they may choose to educate themselves in other, often unrelated areas. It should be noted that self-teaching and self-directed learning are not necessarily lonely processes. Some autodidacts spend a great deal of time in libraries or on educative Web sites. Many, according to their plan for learning, avail themselves of instruction from family members, friends, or other associates. [/quote] I didn't know I had such a smashing title for my little side-education I have been involved for the past years. W00t! I am a damn Autodidact! I, now, take more pride in what I do. Heh!

Well, one never knows right?

Anyway, tomorrow is The Day. Can't wait one second longer. [adrenaline-brimmed] BONE! Here I come! [okay, that sounds wrong.]

Back to admiring Billy Gilman's One Voice,
Ling
31st August 2006
 
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
  Suicidial Black Metal
Someone over MSN just introduced me to really underground Suicidial Black Metal. Gawd. I tell you, no person with a faint heart could stomach their songs. Trust me. It's ... just too horrible for any sane person to bear through. Songs of mental illness, suicide (in action), madness are not for everyday listen. Jesus, listen at your own fucking risk.

It is that disturbing.

Now, I can't sleep well tonight...
 
Monday, August 28, 2006
 
Audioslave - I Am The Highway Live

I am absolutely hooked.
 
  I Am The Highway
AUDIOSLAVE
I Am The Highway

Pearls that swim the rift of me
long and weary my road has been
I was lost in the cities
alone in the hills
no sorrow I feel
for anything I feel yea

I am not your rolling wheels
I am a highway
I am not your carpet ride
I am the sky

friends and liars
don't wait for me
cause I'll get on
all by myself
put millions of miles
under my heels
and still too close to you
I feel

I am not your rolling wheels
I am the highway
I am not your carpet ride
I am the sky
I am not your blowing wind
I am the sky here
I am not your automn moon
I am the night
the night

I am not your rolling wheels
I am the highway
I am not your carpet rag
I am the sky
I am not your blowing wind
I am the lightining
I am not your automon
I am the night

------

Reminded me acutely of someone... I shall not go deeper. It's prehistoric already. [lament]
 
Sunday, August 27, 2006
  Update
It's been a while since I blogged. But nothing much happened anyway, my life being such a standstill recently to the point of me not knowing exactly what should I do. Sometimes, I just sit and wait for things to happen.

Anyhow I have renewed my faith in being a metalhead, if it weren't strong enough. I took time off to readjust the badges on my school bag and to take proper due notice and attention to them of which I have been lacking to offer to them. They did a decent job every morning, cheering me up for school, as I looked at the badges in pride and then I am a renewed person almost instantaneously. Now, I believe there are 8 badges on my bag, namely, Cradle of Filth, Dimmu Borgir, Immortal, Impiety, Opeth, Emperor, Gorgoroth, Satyricon. Yep. In addition of honouring the badges of their significance, I also sticked a decently-sized phamplet that says, "God is Myth" with its background a withering dying tree. It suits my mood perfectly. This constant anarchy of conventionalism, the decomposing state of life in generally. This, I found myself more equipped with the mindset to overcome all matters that obstruct in my path. Sigh. Seems evident enough that I am fated to lead a left-handed path...

Other things include the rabid anticipation for Mega Magic Show on next friday. It will be a great day. I could just foresee that...

Sidenotes: being born in the month of Janurary means a very depressing life that you will lead. I have endured 17 years of latent despair and solemnity, and it's not ending... Damn you, Saturn! Damn you to hell, I say!

I wish my heart could stop working,
Ling the Depressed/Emo.
27th August 2006
 
  Update
It's been a while since I blogged. But nothing much happened anyway, my life being such a standstill recently to the point of me not knowing exactly what should I do. Sometimes, I just sit and wait for things to happen.

Anyhow I have renewed my faith in being a metalhead, if it weren't strong enough. I took time off to readjust the badges on my school bag and to take proper due notice and attention to them of which I have been lacking to offer to them. They did a decent job every morning, cheering me up for school, as I looked at the badges in pride and then I am a renewed person almost instantaneously. Now, I believe there are 8 badges on my bag, namely, Cradle of Filth, Dimmu Borgir, Immortal, Impiety, Opeth, Emperor, Gorgoroth, Satyricon. Yep. In addition of honouring the badges of their significance, I also sticked a decently-sized phamplet that says, "God is Myth" with its background a withering dying tree. It suits my mood perfectly. This constant anarchy of conventionalism, the decomposing state of life in generally. This, I found myself more equipped with the mindset to overcome all matters that obstruct in my path. Sigh. Seems evident enough that I am fated to lead a left-handed path...

Other things include the rabid anticipation for Mega Magic Show on next friday. It will be a great day. I could just foresee that...

Sidenotes: being born in the month of Janurary means a very depressing life that you will lead. I have endured 17 years of latent despair and solemnity, and it's not ending... Damn you, Saturn! Damn you to hell, I say!

I wish my heart could stop working,
Ling the Depressed/Emo.
27th August 2006
 
Thursday, August 24, 2006
  300th Post!

I am quite proud of me making the 300th post mark. Signified a great deal of committment into this once-miniture project of mine. Yay.

On other side of matters, today is a good day, as there's no school for the entire SRJC tomorrow! Hippees! Came home, decided to play with my magic toys, which resulted in;

  1. Getting very frustrated at the linking rings as my one handed link failed repeatedly. Ugh.

  2. Hooked up my IT and had a paper ball floating around my chest. Subsequently, decided to let it float around whilst I continue to do my normal stuff and walk around the house. Which is quite distracting, as the spinning motion of the paper ball could get you quite dizzy.

  3. Did Cups and Balls with sponge balls and glass cups. Then, laughed at myself for 3 minutes straight.

  4. Incarnated myself at the balcony for almsot 3 hours as my magic drawer is there, whilst looking at the glass doors as I flourished away. This invited many comments from my family that I have lost of sanity. Ah wells.

  5. Decided not to wax a Tally Ho, it being too good to be waxed.

Found this link pertaining to Jon Nodtveidt's death, it's getting increasingly surreal that he is gone forever. My subconscious still remains in the mindset that he is still alive... This is affecting me.

Of all, I find this most mind-boggling: "Shortly before the ritual suicide, he had sent farewell letters to his father and his girlfriend and explained to a friend, "I'm going away for a long, long time. I'm going to Transylvania." O_O, seriously.

In light of such morbid matters, I have only more of that sort to lament here. I feel old. It's already nearing September 2006, my days of being 17 years old are quite numbered. Will be turning 18 in around 4 months' time. Geez. I will be in JC2 in no time at all, soon, it will be the apocalytic A Levels. Following that, the pursuit for a degree in a university hopefully. Makes me realise that I could no longer joke around being a blasphemic BM kid and think of novel ideas that might sound impractical in reality. Time really does flies, huh? This is too fast. Inversely, I find the JC education really efficient in obliterating my previous shelf of "not thinking anything in class". More critical, I am now, I also find that studying has essentially fused into my life wholly, and there is no escape. (Don't I sound like Winston?) Amazingly enough, in my secondary school life, where I found much difficulties in even tackling some of the easy topics, here in JC, things just flowed to my mind like water, it's so natural and second nature. In lectures, I'd hear abit and a divine enlghtenment of facts and understanding came to me. And there, I committed them to memory. I have no serious idea why my studying skills took such a sudden curve for the better. This is good, I guess. =)

So much for being a nerd,
LingNemesis
24th August 2006

 
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
  Mayhem!
Finally, I have decided to take some pictures of the signatures I got from Mayhem. So, here are them:
I cannot believe I met Mayhem.

Ack, I own all of you! Hehehe!
 
Monday, August 21, 2006
  Disturbing.
It is rather disturbing to listen to a song in which a dead person is singing it or watching a video in which a dead person is performing.

Once again, R.I.P Jon.
 
Sunday, August 20, 2006
  A Love Letter - 19
Found this very... insighful love letter at 19's LJ. So here is it:

a love letter
you're a butterfly in a jar.

you're a ditaboy bird in a gilded cage I can nudge whenever I wish to see you cling to the bars.

you're harker in my castle, and i'm going to drink you dry.

you're inanna in the underworld. you're my enkidu. you're a prisoner of psychic war.

you're the prince in a tower that can only be reached by flying.

you're a ghola.

you're my ghola.

i raised you and now you have to do whatever i say. we've established that's how that works. though the escape attempts are my butterfly thrashing between my teeth and my tongue and i love them. i open my mouth and exhale you wet and terrified but when i ask if you've been having a nightmare you always, say, no. and you land on my tongue again next time, every time.

i should draw a pentagram around you. or you might escape.

you should draw a pentagram around me. or i might eat you in your darling fucking sleep.

welcome home.

--------

Absolute beauty of that.
 
 
Jean-Baptiste Maunier & Clémence Saint-Preux - Concerto pour

My latest obsession. His angelic voice...
 
  My condolences to Dissection
I am really ashamed of myself only discovering the wonders of Dissection only recently. Such a talented band with such brilliant songs. The news of Jon Nodtveidt's death on Wednesday shook me quite abit. I was just admiring his virtuoso performances at a recently filmed gig where he flawlessly pulled off Where Dead Angels Lie. And now, he is gone... to a plane of existance of his liking. Every true metal fan will slatute to your much-valued contributes to the metal scene and for deepening our passions in this arcane interest.

May your soul rest in peace for eternity, Jon Nodtveidt (1975 to 16th August 2006).

For more information: Jon Nodtveidt.

My deepest condolences,
LingNemesis
Your ardent listener.
 
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
  Hiatus
I apologise for being a total hiatus whore. You might question me, 'So what's up?" I shall give you the ever-ubiquitous reply, "Ceiling".

Oh alright. Not funny... No one's laughing. [echoes]

Quit joking now.

Well, today marks the One Year Anniversary of Slipknot's inaugural annihilistic gig on the fields of the Fort Canning here, where they desekrated the grounds as the 9 men team desired, leaving no trace of humanity at the end of the Maggotisation. It was also a time when all hunger-brimmed maggots of this haunted island got baptised by the profane tunes of this insanity-driven band and by Corey's spit. Two recordings of this ceremony were found in the band's first Live CD, of which have proven the sheer brutality of this madness-dispenser and its fervent followers who sang along in this cult like meeting. At the finale of this 2 hour long propaganda, the band and its 5000 strong horde of maniacal fiends pushed everything to its climax, in the song, Surfacing, where the maggots are required to display their middle fingers high up in the air and curse along the chorus. It was a fucking (sic) experience any maggot couldn't forget even when he is 60 years old. I bet you my ... fingernail that!

Other that that, watched Sophie Scholl today. It has proven me the worth of an award-winning foreign film of 2005, as it left me scarred emotionally with its gloomy heaviness of doom that surrounded the entire film. I departed my warm seat with the recurring thought, "Damn, I feel like a thoughtcriminal who needs serious re-education in my ideology." Two words: WATCH IT. It's a perfect complementary film to the one in 2004, Der Untergang. Each on both sides of the story. Hier komm die Freiheit, mein Volk! Haha.

Let's not talk about school,
Ling
16th August 2006
 
Saturday, August 12, 2006
  Slayer In Singapore.
As I was flipping through today's papers just like any other day, something caught the attention of my eyes. It says, "LAMC presents... SLAYER in Singapore on Friday, 13th October 2006. Singapore Expo Max Pavilion" I did a silent battle growl and pointed the universal \m/ sign. That made my day! =)

To fellow skeptics, you will find yourself owned at this particular website. :D I'm hyped up although there is a high possibilty of me not being able to attend this grand ceremony of brutality. Ah wells, I'm in favour of anything that boasts the metal scene here in Singapore.

Seeing how Satyricon transformed itself from a raw BM, corpse paint-donning, in-love-with-Mother-North-and-her-various-nymphs into the new K.I.N.G(s) of today's MTV with their latest opus, Now, (hardly at all) Diabolical. I believe it is sooner or later they do arrive at this garden city. So I'd wait.

To think of metal at the start of my day is the best thing ever,
Ling
12th August 2006
 
Friday, August 11, 2006
  i Learn day
Providing you with the updates on SRJC's 2nd iLearn Day is The Computer Sloth, yours truly. Many edgy problems surfaced amidst my constant listening to metal to fuel my mind to greater dimensions during this technological academic warfare.

The problems are as below;
  1. Did my Khemikal Kinetiks quiz at the stroke of midnight, with me running for my pen and calculator as I wasn't too prepared that the quiz could be that demanding. Nontheless, it went okay in the end, getting 14/20.
  2. Attempted Mathematics which proved to me the fact that technology could be an utter pain in the arse. Reasons being, the graphics of much arcane-looking mathematical symbols took around 14^n X 10^25 minutes to load, n being the number of images. In the end, it doesn't even matter! [LP fan's insider joke] whether I get 1/30 or 18/30. Because I got the latter. :P
  3. Been a total mugger for Biology's well-deserved turn, read Campbell and all before doing it. Well, as some teacher quoted, "You reap what you sow!" Yes, I got what I deserved. 13/16. ^^
  4. Leaving only Economics to accomplish, I feel good!
  5. The last of my problems is that my body ached from the excessive usage of this generator of wonders and churning noises due to its many in-built fans.
  6. Last but not least, I love i-learn day! No school! Who cares if one word takes 10 minutes to load?!
Other non-academic things include the acquirement of a Norwegian guidebook! Hippe!

I want to watch Sophie Scholl badly... I want to watch any Dreite Reich film in Deustche badly. =)

I need a damn life.

My ears hurt from the tight headphones, my brother commented the wrong technique involved in me wearing them. I couldn't care less.

Dinner! Aus,
Ling
11th August 2006
 
Thursday, August 10, 2006
 
Dimmu Borgir - Raabjorn Speiler Draugheimens Skodde

I have been looking for this for ages. Kick arse!
 
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
 
Opeth - Hope Leaves (Live Lamentations DVD)

Another heart-rending ballad. Just love Opeth to the core.
 
 
Opeth - Forest Of October (live)

Opeth is pure gold. <3.
 
  Siblings
I think my siblings went insane. They are playing o2Jam together and laughing manically. O.o

Bored stiff!
 
  Happy Birthday, Singapore.
Happy 41st Birthday, Singapore! I am not so patriotic to the extent of singing praises here. So yeah.

Was chatting with Mephistopheles just now;
LingNemesis: Happy 41st Spawnday, Singapore. says:
It's Singapore's 41st Birthday!
Mephistopheles says:
Great
Mephistopheles says:
Do you get a Victory Gin cup?

Mephistopheles says:
why are you guys having this serious demonstration anyways? 41 isn't an important number
LingNemesis: Happy 41st Spawnday, Singapore. says:
they do it every single year
Mephistopheles says:
omfg lmao, tell your friends "Did you go to the spontaneous demonstrations, comrades?" =D

Sigh and Lol.
-----

Yesterday was rather fun, and a little satisfying due to the fact that there is no lessons and SRJC fucking built the longest sandcastle in Singapore. After that, went to meet up with Ren Hui and Adeline for lunch and aimless walking at Orchard road, of which we patroned our favourite fast-food chain, aka Subway.

Ren hui has a stack deck, and it fashions itself after an Arthmetric Progression. Something you wouldn't want to hear about outside school. Ugh.

There are no decent shows to watch on Tv, and the 3 hour long National Day Parade is only going to make things worse for me. [switches to Youtube or Google Video]

Laters,
Ling
9th August 2006
 
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
  Early...
In around 3 hours time, I will be building bloody sandcastles... How awesome is that.

Laters,
Ling
0527 hours.
 
Monday, August 07, 2006
  Not in this lifetime.
I was pondering last night on my vast range of interests. Now that I have exposed myself to even more literacy works and issues, my area of interest now expanded to a wide spectrum ranging from religion, supernatural, politics, social science, philosophy, arts, ancient civilizations, mythologies, magic(k), films, languages, eugenics, and a whole ton more. There are sub topic within each, making my quest of knowledge over them a several fold harder one. Thus, I wondered, "I will never get a decent grasp of all that in this lifetime at the rate I am going now, unless I quit school to pursue this strange interest that many people of my age care less about."

However, I really wish I could master what I could. One can always hope, right?

Anyway, back to reality, the whole of SRJC is going to East Coast (Chaos) park on the morrow for their 41st National Day celebrations, an prestigious occasion where students get to build sandcastles using state-of-the-art tools, such as a few pieces of arcylic templates with moulds for stairs and windows. Wow. I mean, this is so cool. One student is obliged to build at mere least 1 metre worth of lump, that would make a total of around 1 plus km worth of sandlumps, making it Singapore's longest! Besides that usage of free labour on the beaches, students are required to cover 3.2km and 5km respectively for those of XX and XY chromosomes. Of course, being a political threat to the school, I will walk the distance with my player on, and getting twice as much free drinks I could that they provide. I, too, will attempt to build a Gothic styled castle, to horrify the entire joyous occasion, and to dampen everyone's festive mood. Therefore, renaming East Coast Park into Eastern Haunted Coast Park. I shalt scribe "Here lies the Lair of Dracula" upon the entrance of my castle. And then, snap 42 pictures of it and smile proudly at myself. =)

I doubt that will happen though. [Shut up! That's my pesmisstic twin talking.]

Bah.

Life is just like that,
Ling
7th August 2006
 
Sunday, August 06, 2006
  I have lost it
I think I have lost it, my very last bit of sanity. Why? Read below:

Jesus christ! Save me from this sin! Holy crap. I need to chill.

Other than that, this weekend was pretty alright. Had a haircut on saturday and met up with SMC people at Subway for some cult meeting which resulted in a teacher memorising the entire deck order, that alone is satanic enough. I can't even remember my own name.... Kudos to Shade.

Sunday? Stoner's day stoning at the computer and getting my mind melted away and dripping from my left ear. Yeah, that's a very brief summary.

And yes, Slayer's desecration here is more or less confirmed. It will be held at Indoor Stadium on the 13th October 2006. It will be raining blood and flinging bodies upon the moshpit! Can't wait for their arrival, though I'm not going...

I never knew such cool people existed in SRJC until yesternight, when someone accidentally ntroduces me to an ex-SRJCian by the name of Myren. Who also happens to be metalhead and a worthy one too. Had a great chat with him. Good to know he has dropped out of that place 3 weeks ago. I have to endure more stuff, due to the lack of courage to drop out on my part. People who are just about to persuade me to stay on, saying, "You are doing well in JC what!" Do not stop me, your attempts will be futile as my main wish is to get out of SRJC quick.

Can't wait for tuesday where I could fucking build sandcastles (hooray! Singapore's longest!),
Ling
6th August 2006
 
Thursday, August 03, 2006
  Mundane
Today saw the ultimate bombardment of Chemistry brainwashing. Let me tell you the exact details; had Chemistry Lecture on Chemical Equrilibria Part I in the morning which lasted for 1 hour, Chemistry Practical on Chemical Kinetics which lasted for 2 hours, and last but not least, a make up Chemistry Lecture on Chemical Equirilbria Part II and Chemical Bondage Test Correction which lasted for another 1 hour and a half. So, do your maths. I survived 4 hours and a half of pure Chemistry today. I shall reinforce the duration, 4 hours and a half in a single day.

Other things in school today includes;


I think that's about it...

And I am listening to Phil Collins whilst typing this. So I am relatively harmless.

Ling, Aus.
3rd August 2006
 
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
  Torturous Tuesday
Here, once again, I survived another round of Torturous Tuesday which ended its relentless brainwashing session(s) only at a holocaustic time at 5.30pm. Considering the instructors of The Torture Chamber started emitting brainwashing at 8am, we have absolutely no trace of humanity left at the end of the session, although I had a decent lunch at a near-by Civilian's eating place with my fellow inmates.

Bah. I've a very extremely brief idea of my Nemesis Manifesto now, I think I am going to start writing some stuff soon. Cool to know Keroy digs such intellectual musing as well, awesome! So we were discussing about Eugenics. He said to give our parents to prove their worth in a time limit of one lifetime. I said, 'That's too long, yo! I give them 5 minutes!"

Can't wait for next week. The idea of only going for Monday for academic or brainwashing purpose is appealing enough.

Life used to be good, until You came along,
Ling
1st August 2006
 
The human destiny is forever limited by the idiocy of bureaucracy and the excesses of social expectations. - LingNemesis, 2007 C.E.

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Location: Singapore

Metal-Listener. Card Flourisher. Aspiring Philosopher. Selective Mugger. Ubermensch-to-be. Inspired by Dharma. Nihilist. The Almost Misanthrope. Yogini. Film Enthusiast. Into everything Occult and the Esotercism. Anti-Pretentious Social Situations. Anti-Religion. Anti-Normal. Observer of This Fucked-Up World. Autodidact. Philomath. Capricorn Cusp Aquarius. Leo Ascendent. Taurus Moon Sign. Economic Left/Right: -1.88 Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -2.05.

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